Penpals
by azurefang
Summary: This new story is based on letters young Damon wrote to his best friend who moved away from Mystic Falls when both boys were eight years old.
1. Chapter 1

"PENPALS"

A/N This new story is based on letters young Damon wrote to his best friend Monty Ryan, whose family moved from Mystic Falls to New Orleans when both boys were eight years old. When Damon was fourteen, his friend died. The boy's parents sent the collection of letters to Damon. He kept them. If any of Damon's misspelled words make a bad word in someone's language, I apologize on his behalf.

_ June 1848_

_ Dear frend Monty,_

_I ast Mama to help me becus I hav nevr rit a letter befor. Mama want me to do it mysef, so she is not fixing my speling much. I now I spel bad_

_ I am happy you rote to me. Yor new home muss be fun. You can go see the Missispy river? I cant piture a river wider than a hay feel. I wish I cud see bots on the river._

_ My birtday was yestaday. Mama and Papa got me a puppy. It is so cute. It is a fox hound. He is a boy dog and his name is Haverty. Mama made me spel that rite. _

_ I showd him to my baby broter. Stefan juss puld his eer and Haverty likd his mouth. Stefan laft. Mama say don't let the puppy lik the baby. Stefan is only seven monts old and dosnt now wat to do with a puppy. I want Haverty to sleep in my bed wit me but Papa say no. My puppy was not happy at nite. I go sneek him into my bed. He wet the bed. I got up erly and took him to his bed down by the kichen._

_ I miss you. So do yor other frens. Rite to me agin soon. Yor fren Damon Salvatore_

_ August 1848 Monty, wen are you going to rite to me. I am waiting for yor letter. My tutor mr Merrifall has ben helping me to spel better. Papa and Mama say I need to do better. Papa say he had same problem. Papa rites funny. I cant reed wat he rites._

_ You shud see my puppy. He is growin big. Papa say he will never be big because he is a runt. I dont now why he is a runt. I dont see anything rong with him._

_ I was holding my baby broter today on my sholder like Mama showd me He is getting hevy. He threw up and pist on me. I gave him back to Sofy and I had to chang my shirt. Babys stink and cry a lot. I dont like him. I think Papa like him better than me. Why. How is Stefan better than me. He dosnt do anything but sleep and eet and pis and poop. I forgot cry. He dosnt cry a lot, but he wake me up at nite. We sleep in the same room now. His bed used to be in Mamas room. Mama come at nite and feed him. He suks on her chest. Mama say I did to wen I was litil like Stefan. I dont member that._

_ I have a envelop here for this letter. Pleeze rite to me soon. I dont want you to forget me. Your frend Damon_

_ September 1848 I am startin this letter but I am not goin to mail it yet. I think of thins I want to tell you and then I forget. Mama says for me to start this letter and add to it evry day if I want and then I will hav a long letter for you._

_ Scool started today. I miss you not bein ther. I playd with Alan Lockwood at resess. He miss you to. All yor frens miss you. Our teacher this yer is Mrs. Barker. Like a dog. Bark bark. She is reely fat. She laffs a lot. I think I like her._

_ It's still September Today at scool I got two tests perfek. Mrs. Barker put a big A in red ink on eech paper. I was so excite that I ran all the way home after scool to show Mama and Papa. They were not downstars so I ran upstars. I herd Mama's voice in the bedroom she is now usin so I ran in ther. I saw she was lyin on her bed with the baby at her chest. He was suckin away and I leept onto the bed and that popt him loos. He started to cry. I didnt see Papa in the room but he was and he grabbed hold of my arm reel hard and pulled me off the bed. He sed words I am not supose to say and he hit the bak of my hed. He tol me not to jump on Mamas bed like I did and he tol me to go to my room and stay ther. I did. I was mad at Papa. I almos tor up my tests. But I didnt._

_ After a wile Mama came to my room and ast to see the papers I had wave at her on her bed. I showd them but it wasn't fun anymore. But then Mama hug me and sed she was prowd of me. I felt better. Monty, I don't think my Papa love me anymor. He jus love Stefan. I dont like Stefan. I wish he woold go away. I know Mama carry him around in her belly for a long time. I dont know how he got out. It happen when I was visitin at the Gilbert hous for a cupel days. I went home and ther he was. He was reel little then and sort of red. Now I wish someone woold come and tak him away._

_ Gess wat Monty. I lernt something today. Silas in the hors barn let me see the barn cat birth her kittens. She had a big belly and then she push one out her bak end. Sort of like poop but no poop. Silas say ther is a speshul hole for the kitten to come out. She lick it all cleen. Then she push out anoter one. She clean it to. She had for of them and they all suck milk after she cleen them. They are so small. _

_Now I try to think how Mama push Stefan out of her bottom. How did she do it. Stefan was bigger than a kitten. Mama must hav ben carful not to lose him in the privy. No that woold not hav happen. Mama uses a comode insted of goin out to the privy. The wors that coold of happen is he end up in the comode pot. Mama sur woold not lick him clean. Ha ha._

_ Papa and Mama reely want me to spell better. Mr. Merrifall the tutor is back to help me. I dont like him. He is strict. And he sometimes puts his hand down on my pants and feels my pisser. I dont know why he does that. He say it is his secret way to help me with my spellin but when he feels me like that I forget what he is telling me. Papa says dont play with your pisser so I dont. Mostly I dont. Maybe I shuld tell Papa what Mr. Merrifall is doin. _

_ Today Sofy saw what Mr. Merrifall was doing and she said he shuldnt do that. He told her to mind her own buziness. Sofy is my nanny and she looks after me and Stefan. She is a colord woman and a slave so she cant tell a white man what to do. I was glad she saw what he did becuz I don't know what to do. She went and told Mama becuz Papa was in town. Mama came and she was mad. She ast me did he tuch me and I sad yes. She told Mr. Merrifall to leave right away. When he was gone she told me never let someone tuch me like that. She was mad but not at me. I culd tell becuz she hug me. She toll Papa and he was mad to. He yell at me insted of hug me. He say I shud have toll him wen Mr. Merrifall first did it. He ast did the man hurt me and I say no. I am glad that man wont come back._

_ October 1848 I was so happy to get yor letter Monty. I am glad you like yor scool and yor teacher. My teacher Mrs. Barker is so funny. She make us all laff but she also make us lern our lessons. I hope you can tell I spell better now. I reely try hard. I have a new tutor now. He never tuch my pants. He helps me spell better. I don't need help with my numbers becuz I am good at rithmatic. He say I am smart. I think I am smart excep when Papa yells at me for something I did rong._

_ Is yor frend Pierre from France. Why does he speek Franch. Is Cajun a part of France. I know France is across the Atlanty oshun. Wen you write agin you must explane that._

_ Today I was ridin my pony Blaze neer our bee hive and a bee stung him. He bolt and ran rite threw the cloze line where the cleen sheets were hangin. And also the cleen shirts. Sofy and Sooner were there boilin mor sheets in the big wash pot and they yelled at me when the cloze line broke and fell on me. Me and the pony drag thos cleen sheets and shirts all over the yard befor I got him to stop. Mostly he stop becuz one of Papa's shirts was on his hed and he culdnt see._

_ Papa came out of the house becuz of all the showting and he find out what happened. He was mad at me. He grab my arm and yank me off my pony and drag me into the house. I tried to tell him a bee stung Blaze, but he just say I now better than to ride neer the bee hive. He take me into the study and spank my bare bottom. I hope it hurt his hand as much as it hurt my bottom._

A/N Well, what do you think? Guest reviewer lizzie asked if I could write something like Stefan's journal, but by Damon. I thought the letters might work. I will continue if you all tell me it is a good idea. Please comment.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A/N I forgot the disclaimer for Chapter 1 so here it is. Disclaimer: The Vampire Diaries does not belong to me. Original characters are mine.

Eight-year-old Damon is writing a letter to his friend who has moved to New Orleans. He keeps adding to the letter and eventually mails it.

_ Mama came from upstars to find out what happen with the cloze line. She ast Papa why he spank me and he toll her. I toll Mama I didn't meen to dirty the cleen cloze. It was cuz a bee stung Blaze. Mama hug me and Papa say not to do that becuz I new better than to go neer the bee hive. He say I culd of ben hurt if the pony had run into the big pot of hot water. That is tru but it didnt happen._

_ Papa say go to my room so I did. I had to lye on my belly becuz my bottom hurt. Papa hit reely hard. I guess I was cryin and Stefan crawl to my bed. He stood up at the _

_side and looked at me. Then he cry with me. Sofy and Mama came to see why he was crying._

_ Stefan is such a pest. He crawls every were and gets into every thing. I have toys and books on my shelfs and he pull every thing onto the flor. He ript a page in one of my books. I had to put every thing up hi so he cant reech them._

_ He follow me all the time. He is like my puppy. Sofy and Mama had to put a gate in the hall so he cant get to the stares and fall down them. When he gets to some thing he can hold onto, he stands up. So he can reech higher than when he crawls. _

_Mama says he loves me and looks up to me. Some times he looks up at me and grins and I have to laff becuz it is sort of cute. His eyes are green like Mamas. Mine are blu. His hair is very lite. Its called blond. Mamas hair is blond but almos brown. She say wen she was litle her hair was like Stefans. I cant piture Mama litle like Stefan._

_ Sofy made me put some of my things in a drawr. She said they are to small to leeve were Stefan can get them. He put every thing in his moth. No matter how dirty it is he put it in his moth._

_ I have to tell you Monty the wors thing he does is smeer poop. Sofy say I did that when I was little but I dont think I did. It leek from his diper and he thinks it is fun to play with. He leevs hand prints on the flor. He came after me one time all nasty and smelly and I had to leeve the room and go get Sofy before he cud put his poopy hands on me. It is so discustin. Don't get a baby broter or sister if you can help it._

_ I went fishing with Papa today. I was surprised wen he ast if I wanted to go with him. Of cors I did. We used to do that a lot. Before Stefan was born. I have a short rod and reel that is good for my size. So Papa and me walked way over to Willow Creek and along the path to our good fishin spot. Papa tot me how to cast the line and I do it good. He says I do. I surely like when he praze me for some thing insted of yell at me. I cot the first fish, a trowt and it was big. Papa praze me agin. I was happy. We cot five fish for supper. Wen we got home I toll Mama all abowt it and she was happy. She hug me._

_ I tell you Monty Stefen drive me crazy. I was in the play room and had my toy sojurs all lined up to do batle. Stefen came crawlin in from the hall and he go right thru my line of sojurs. He sat rite in the midle of them. Then he put one in his mowth. I yeld at him and grab it away from him and he cry. Sofy came and see what happen and she pik him up and took him to our bedroom._

_ He was supose to take a nap but I herd a thump and he cry a little. Befor Sofy cud come up stares and see to him he came crawlin rite bak to the play room. I just got the sojurs set up like I want and here he come like a elafant from Africa. He sat rite in the midle again. I was so mad I slap his hand wen he reech for a sojur. So he cry agin. This time Papa come and look why he was cryin. Papa cud see Stefan sittin rite in the midle and Papa says share with Stefan. Let him play to. I was so mad Monty. Stefan cant play with sojurs. He don't know what a sojur is. I ran out of the room and into the bed room and lay down on my bed._

_ Well Sofy came and put Stefan bak in his crib. As soon as she go he stood up and clim over the crib side. I didn't know he cud do that. Somethin new. Befor I cud get to him he thump down onto the flood. He cry just a little and then he crawl over to my bed and stood up to look at me. He grins from eer to eer at me. He tryd to get up on the bed but he cant. He try so hard I gave up and lifted him up. He snuggle up nex to me and cloze his eyes. What cud I do. I fell asleep with him ther. Enuff abowt my baby broter._

_November, 1848 The wether was realy nice today. Papa and Mama decided to ride down the road to see the Wilsons. Member them? I membered to use a qweston mark. They said I could go with them. It is quite far. Mama hasn't dun much riding since befor Stefan was born but she was game to go. Me to._

_ Papa toll me to tye up my dog but I cud not find him. I figure he was in the howse sleepin. Silas had all the horses redy to go. That include my pony. He was rarin to go. Well not reely. Blaze is not what you wud call a firy steed like a nite in armer wud ride. I think a dragen wud just step on Blaze._

_ Mama rides with a side sadle. I don't now how she keep her balans but she duz. She love to ride and she look so pretty on her horse. Mama and Papa and me rode down the road for a long ways. We met Mr. Wilson and his hunt man with a pack of dogs. They were yung dogs that are lernin to hunt and Mr. Wilson take then out to lern to sniff for foxes. _

_They were crossin the road when we came to them. The grown ups got to talking and I got off Blaze and petted the dogs. They are friendly. Then you wul not beleeve what happen Monty. Along came my dog Haverty. He sniff our trail and follow us all the way. Well he got the young dogs all excited. I think he is broter to some of them._

_Papa was reely mad becuz I didnt tye up Haverty rite. I didnt tell him I didnt tye up Haverty at all. Mr. Wilson had an extra leesh and gave it to me so I cud leed my dog. We rode on to the Wilson howse and left our horses at the barn. I tyd up Haverty ther to. I was afrad Papa was goin to spank me rite ther at the Wilson place. I new he was mad at me. He didnt. _

_We had a nice time there. Gerald and Milli were both there. They say to tell you hello and that they miss you. We had lunch with the Wilsons and it was fun to be there. Its ben two years since we hunt with them. _

_Papa didnt spank me until we got home when it almos dark. He spank me when Cook toll him Haverty was not tyd up outside. He ran off when he was let outside. So now I am ritin this leter to you standin up becuz my bottom hurt. And I got no supper. It is a good thing I ate a lot at the Wilson lunch._

_I can hear Mama and Papa arguing. Mama is sayin that Papa spank me to much and Papa dont like me. Papa say that not tru. It is just that I dont do what I am toll and I do dangerus things. I dont do that on purpose. Usually. Now Mama cry. I dont like for Papa to make Mama cry. Do your Mama and Papa argu? I am goin to go see why Mama cry._

_I am back. Papa yell at me agin. He says didnt he tell me to stay in my room? Mama say its all rite. I am not to worry. So I come back to my room. I am mad at Papa. He spank me to much and he make Mama cry. I shuld run away and then they wont argu abowt me. But then they will find me and Papa will hit my bottom harder and Mama will cry agin. I dont know what to do._

_Stefan is lookin up at me from his crib. He looks worryd. Sometimes he look so serious. He cant get out of his crib any more becuz Sofy and Mama fix it. But he trys. I wonder what he is thinkin. Do babys his age think?_

A/N This is not a long chapter. I hope you all aren't tired of Damon writing about his baby brother. Sometimes I don't know what to have Damon write about. Thanks to those of you who reviewed.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

_A/N Thank you for reading this story and for the reviews. I wasn't sure anyone would like it._

"_Winter"_

_ November, 1848 Hello Monty. I got yor letter today. I am happy to reed it. I am sory you got sic. I am glad you feel better now. It is to bad you dont like yor teecher. I like mine. I like my tutor even tho he make me lern to spell. I get tired of writin and spellin over and over agin. Some times the spellin duz not mak any sens._

_ Papa says I spen to much time with Sofy and the other colords so my way of talking is like ther. Maybe that is so. At skool I talk difrent. I think befor I say thins._

_Thers a new boy at skool. And his sister to. They talk funny. They are from New York. They say we talk funny. I dont think we talk funny at all._

_ Gramma and Grampa Reminton are here visitin us. They live in richmon that is eest of here. I like them. Mama says they are her Mama and Papa. They talk a litel funny to. It is funny that peepl from som were else hav a difrent way of talkin. They come now to be here for Stefans birtday. He will be one yeer old tomorow. _

_ Gramma and Grampa did not come visit for my birtday in june but they did send me a nice present. It was a book with reely nice pitures in it. Today I herd Gramma say I look like Connor. I dont know who Connor is but that is my midle name. Mama say it was the name of a good frend yeers ago._

_ I am glad you explane that Cajun is not a place. It is some people who came from Nova Scotia. I look that up in Papas atlas. He show me were it is. He says they speek the French langwich. Papa know how to speek the italyun langwich. He say Gramma and Grampa Salvatore speek it all the time when they were alive. They went to heven. I wonder if they speek it ther with Jesus. Mama says Jesus speek all langwiches._

_ November 22 1858 Today Stefan is one yeer old. He duz not know that but he like that evry one is payin mor atenshun to him. This yeer we will hav Thanksgivin dinner with a lot of peeple. Mama says the Gilbert famly and the Lockwood famly will come to. We usualy go to the Gilberts for Thanksgivin but not this yeer. I think the Lockwoods are still sad abowt losin ther son Richard last yeer. He got sick and dide. I didn't know him. Did you? Anyway they are not cookin a big meel this yeer and Mama ast then to joyn us. The Lockwoods cook came to help with all the food._

_ Well, it is almos time for me to go to bed. Mama says I can rite som mor to you first. Dinner was reely fun today. I cownted all the peeple. There wer eight grown ups and seven of us kids. The two litless Gilberts were not here. That is Amy the one who is three yeers old and Billy who is one like Stefan. But Lindsey and Roland were here and so were Lilly and Alan and Trent Lockwood._

_Stefan was not reely at dinner. He had his food just before the rest of us sat at the tables. Mama feed him his mushy food and ther was a litel cake with one candel on it. Everyone stood around an wach him try to blow out the candel. He just spit on the little cake so I blew the flame out. He then ate a fist full of cake. What a mess he makes with food. Then Mama had Sofy take him up to his crib. Mama duz not give him her milk much any mor. I think he bites her. He has seven teeth and he chuz on every thin._

_The grown ups ate at the big table and Lilly was with them. She is forteen yeers old. Us younger kids ate at a smaller table. It was fun._

_After dinner I took the yunger kids up to my play room. We had a good time playin with the toy sojurs and things. I surely miss wen you lived her Monty. You lived close and we cud play togeter. We woke up Stefan and he start to cry. I know he want to come play with us. _

_After a wile every one went home. Gramma and Grampa stayed. They are usin the bed room next to the play room. Mama came to see if I was redy for bed and to see that Stefan was asleep. He is. I am redy to go to bed. As soon as I finish writin this I will go to sleep._

_I ast Mama wat the abolists wer. I sort of herd the grown ups talkin abowt them. I hav herd men speek of them but not in front of us kids. Mama says they are peepl who want the slaves to be free to live any place they want and not have to work for wite peepl. She says ther are a lot of free colords up nort and some in the sowt. I ast her who woold do the slaves work and she says that a good qweschun. She says she duz not have any idee._

_ December 1858 Deer frend Monty I'm glad you liked the news I rote to you. I am glad you are in good helth. And happy birtday. I forgot yor birtday was on the first day of December. You are always six monts older than me. After I toll you how much truble a baby is now you tell me you are goin to get one of yor own. You shud hav toll you parents not to get one._

_ Gess what Monty. A famly has moved into yor old howse. Ther name is Ross. They hav a boy named Duglas who is our age. And a baby girl named Barbara Ann who is Stefans age. I think there is an old sister. I think she must have finish skool becuz she is maried. I think I like Duglas. _

_ December 1858 You wud like Duglas if you were here. He is fun to play with. He come to my howse or I go to his. His mama and papa are nice peeple. His litle sister is a pest like Stefan. She want to play with us and follow us arownd. When his mother come to our howse she bring Barbara Ann. She take toys from Stefan and he start to cry. He not used to some one snachin his thins._

_ Papa duz not spank me much any mor Monty. I dont now why. I think Mama ast him not to do it. I am glad. I still get punish for doin rong thins. But now I hav to go into the bedroom Gramma and Grampa used and stay there. Ther are no toys or books ther. I hid a cupl of toys ther but I gess Papa fownd them becuz they are not ther now. Some time I hav to go to bed withowt my supper. I surely hate that. I almoss think I rathr hav a spankin than not hav my toys or books or supper._

_ December 25 We had a fun Christmas Monty. I hope you did to. Our Christmas tree was a litle diferent this year. Stefan wanted to pull every thin off the bottom of the tree and he almos pull it over. Papa used a string to ty the tree so it cant fall over. None of the candls are neer the bottom and the glass balls are up hi. Stefan tryd to eat the strin of popcorn but Mama cot him and pulled the strin owt of his mowth. He cant choo the popcorn rite and spit it owt. He like to play with the paper the presents were rapped in._

_ Papa duz not like me to have my dog Haverty in the howse but I let him in some times. It is cold out side and Haverty like to be warm. Stefan likes my dog a lot. He crawl all over him and pull his eers and his tale. Haverty is very pashunt with Stefan._

_ Haverty is a good hownd. He lern not to chase the chikens and now he gard them from foxes. Papa like that. So duz Cook. She like her hens and eggs._

_ December 30 We hav snow on the grownd today. It snowd last nite and this mornin. Mama sayd I cud take Stefan for a ride in his sled so I did. The sled has a wood seet so he wont fall off the sled too eesy. I pulled him arownd and he laff a lot. Then I think that Haverty cud pull the sled eesy becuz Stefan dosnt way much. I went to get a longer rope and when I got bak Stefan was gone. So was Haverty. I follow ther traks in the snow and fownd them by the chiken coop._

_ I put Stefan in the sled seet and made a harness with the rope for Haverty. Then I walkd ahed of him and call him and he follow me pullin the sled. Stefan likt that. But then Haverty saw a rabbit and ran after it pullin the sled along. I was afrad for Stefan that the sled wud turn over so I yell at Haverty to stop and come back. Of corse I ran after them. _

_ The rabbit went into som bush and the dog stop rite ther. The sled ran rite into him and he yelp and jump side ways. He fell down and Stefan was thrown into the bush. He start to cry and had a cut on his cheek. Just a litel one. _

_ I grabbed Havertys colar so he wudnt run away and I pick up Stefan with one arm and put him back in the sled. I was afrad some one wud come from the howse. If it was Papa I think he wud spank me for sure. No one came from the howse so I led Haverty to the back door. The colord maid Sooner came to see what I was doin. She saw a bit of blud on Stefans face. I told her we got too clos to a bush. She take Stefan inside and wash his face._

_ I took the rope harness off from Haverty and let him go. I didnt tell any one that I use my dog to pull the sled. I gess it was not a good idee._

_ I thot I was safe but Papa ast me abowt the cut on Stefans face. I toll him I pul the sled and got to close to a bush. He yell at me and say didn't I know I cud hav made Stefan blind if his eyes got hit with the bush? I didnt think of that. All I cud say was I didnt meen for it to happen. Papa skweez my arm hard. It hurt. He sent me to the other bed room and I was stuk ther until supper time. It was not fare. I was givin Stefan a good time and he like it. It wasnt my fault the rabbit came and Haverty ran after it._

_ So now I am in our room riting to you. I got a big brooz on my arm. It is sor. Stefan is asleep in his crib. The cut on his face is red but it is small. It will heel. Stefan is some times more truble than he is worth. I wish I was a only chile agin._

A/N How did this sound? It may be a while before I post another chapter of this story. I have to think of more stuff for young Damon to write about.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A/N Somehow this chapter was omitted and Chap 3 came up twice. Hopefully, this will be where it should be now.

A/N The story is now going to skip six months so that Damon's spelling can improve. He is still swapping letters with Monty. Alert: Damon is going to get whipped. You can skip over that if you want.

June 1849

Dear Monty

I am going to be nine yeers old tomorow. I know I am taller than this time last yeer. Sofie made me new close. I don't feel like such a litle kid any more. Do you?

My dog Haverty was so bad today. He got into the garden and dug up some of the new vegtabels. Cook and Minna were so mad at him. Minna takes care of the garden most of the time. She is kind of old. Papa does not sell his slaves just becuz they get old. He thinks they have erned the rite to get old were they are used to living.

I know Mama agrees. She likes to garden too. She likes to grow flowers and Minna some times helps her. Minna's man Hank built fences around the gardens to keep out the rabbits and the deer. But the deer some times jump over the fence. Most of the time old Hank just chop wood. Thats his job. Chop chop wood for the kitchen and all the other fire places. Its an endless job. Old Hank has big mussles.

Here comes Stefan. He calls me Day Mum all the time now. I guess some day he will say my name rite. He wants me to pick him up and put him on my lap. I cant rite this letter if he is on my lap. He woold spill the ink or grab my pen. What a mess he woold make. He has one of his woodn blocks and he is banging it on my leg. Now he is

You woold not beleev this Monty. He was under my desk and hitting my legs and he hit my nuts! I yelled at him and pushed him away and he hit his head and started to cry. Sofie came to see why he was crying and I told her. She pulled him out from under the desk and took him to the play room. I hurt down there but nobody ask if I am all rite.

I will tell you some thing Monty. Some times I feel like if he was a slave child I woold ask Papa to sell him. Of course he woold not do that. Stefan is his son and my brother. But I was first. I am the oldest. Why must I be scolded when I do wrong and not Stefan? Mama says he is too yong to under stand but that is not tru. He under stands NO. Some times he still duz the rong thing any way. He gets his hands slapped but he never gets spanked. Its not fair.

I was supprized that you wrote that you saw real live aligators. You sayd you went in a bote in a swamp and there were aligators. Were you afraid they woold bite you? Do they eet peeple? I wish I culd see aligators.

You sayd you eet some Cajun food that was so spicy that it made teers run down yor face. I never ate food that did that unless it was too hot and burnt my mouth. I member that time we swallowed some moon shine. Do you member that? We saw the men drink it and when they were not looking we tried some reel quik. Wasnt it awful? Made our eyes water a hole lot and we coffed a lot.

June 8, 1849 Today is my birthday. I am nine yeers old. Mama hug me and say she is so prowd of me. She say I am her big boy. Of corse I am a lot bigger then her litle boy Stefan. She tikle me and make me laff a hole lot. I love Mama. I miss some of the thins we used to do. Ever sinse Stefan came Mama say she duz not hav much energee. She gets tired eezy. I think she likes Stefan more than me some times. Maybe it is becuz he is more qwiet than me. Papa says I talk to lowd and run in the house to much. I think I do have lots of energee.

After skool I got a supprize. Papa got me a new pony for my birthday. His name is Litning. He is daple gray and he is twelve hands tall. That is a lot bigger than my old pony. He has a lot more energee. He can run fast. I reely like him.

Papa and Silas made three jumps in the pasture so I can jump Litning over them. He is good at that. I now he can jump over low fences wen we can go fox hunting. I now you never did go fox hunting. You woold like it.

Sometimes we go with the fox hunt. Papa and Mama ride horses that jump the reglar fences. I now my new pony can do that to. I can hardly wate to do that. I wish I culd take my dog Haverty to the fox hunt. He cant go becuz he is not traned how to do it. Only the dogs traned to hunt fox can go with the huntman.

Haverty likes to chase everythin. Well, he duznt chase the chickens any more. He surely can run after rabbits and skwirels. I dont now how to spell skwirels. Papa says I hav to look up words I dont know how to spell in my dicshunary. How do I do that if I dont know how to spell the word? Some times I look and look and cant find it. I dont want to spend my letter riting time looking for words in the dicshunary.

June 17 1849 Alan and Duglas were here at my house today. They rode here and we all went for a ride. Alan took us to see a cave. His brother showed it to him. We almost got lost, but we finally found it. Alan's brother Richard told him a bare slept in the cave in the winter. We went inside. We were scared but there was no bare. We left before the bare came back.

Then we rode over to the big split rock. We all now that it is majic. Every one says that. Our ponies don't mind the majic. If the ponies dont mind then it is safe. We climed all over the rock and put sticks down in the crack. Nothing ever happens wen we do that.

I am glad skool is finish and I can do what I want all day. My tutor still comes to my house one time a week to work on my writing and spelling. I wish he did not. I think I write good for my age. Dont you think so?

August 6, 1859 I got your letter today. Does you broken arm still hurt? You sayd you were climing over a rot iron fence. Why woold you clime on a fence if you knew it was rotten? Why would some one make a fence of iron? Our fences are all made of wood or they are stone walls. The Lockwoods have a metal gate. I guess it is iron.

Yesterday me and Alan climed up on the barn roof. We found a baby bird on the grownd. We thot it fell out of a nest in the cupala on top of the barn. I now there is a nest up there becuz I have herd the baby birds. So we climed up there with a ladder. I had the baby bird in my pocket. When we got to the cupala we coold not figure out how to get the bird inside. We had to leave it on the roof and hope the mama bird would feed it.

When we were climing down the roof to get to the ladder, Papa saw us and yell at us. He was angry and told us to get rite down. He scared me and I almost slipped on the roof. Alan got scared too. He was climing down the ladder and missed a step and he fell. It was not far but he hurt his ankle and started to cry a little. Papa had to pick him up and carry him to the house. I got down the ladder and did not fall.

Cook got a buket of cold water and Alan soke his ankle in it. Papa scold me and Alan about going up on the roof. I told him about the baby bird but he did not care about it. After a while Papa had Silas drive Alan home and leed Alan's pony. Mama went with them so she could explane to Alan's mama.

*** This is the paragraph where Damon gets a whipping. Skip if you want.***

I new Papa was still angry with me. He took me to the study and told me to drop my pants. I figured I was in for a good spanking. Papa did some thing difrent. He didnt use his hand to spank me. He use his lether riding crop. I did not see that he had it in his hand. When he hit my bottom with it I screemed it hurt so bad. He hit me two times reely hard. Then he tell me not to tell Mama. He say if I tell Mama he will use the riding crop on me again. I pulled up my pants and ran to my room. I was crying so hard I coold hardly see. Stefan was taking a nap and I woke him up and he cry too. Sofie came to see why we were crying. I told her. She made me drop my pants agin and she look at my bottom and she shake her head. She hug me and say she get some salve to put on the whip marks.

So I stood there with my pants down and Stefan looking at me crying. I made myself stop crying becuz it make him cry too. What did he have to cry about? No one whip his bottom. Sofie came back with some salve and smeer it on my bottom. Stefan watch her do it. In a minit it didn't hurt so bad but it still hurt.

I didnt tell Mama. She didnt see I was walking funny. I had to sit at the table for supper and pretend it didn't hurt reely bad. I culd hardly eat. After supper I laid down on my bed on my belly like I did before supper. Stefan came along and pat my arm. Then he pat my bottom. That hurt and I pushed him away. I yelled at him. He got tears in his eyes and stared at me. I think he was worry about me. Stefan is little but I think he is smart.

Today I am reely sore but I gess I will liv. My spelling is bad today and I dont care. I am not going to look at the dicshunary. Mama hug me this morning and ask if I feel all rite. I told her I feel all rite. I dont like to lie to Mama but I dont want Papa to whip me agin with the riding crop. I want to go riding on Litning but my bottom hurt to much. Mostly I am just lying in bed reading.

A/N I'm sorry this chapter did not appear where it was supposed to. I don't know what happened. I must have clicked on the wrong one. I hope you liked it, but not the part where poor Damon got whipped.


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter 5_

A/N Even though I have not really had much of a response to this story, I worked up another chapter. I am trying a different approach half way through the story.

"_A Short Road Trip"_

_August 7, 1849_

_Monty, today was a reelly bad day for me. I will try to start at the begin. In the morning I decided to run away. I am afraid of Papa. I think he hates me. I watch Mama playing with Stefan. She love him a lot. I now she love me to but I don't think it is as much as she love Stefan. He broke one of my toy sojurs and I now he hid fore more. He make me so mad. If I slap his hands he cry and then some one comes and pick him up and kisses him and hugs him. No one cares he take my things. I hate him._

_I did not now wat to take to run away. I did not now were to go. I went to Cook and ast her for some food to take and she gave me some in a small basket. And I took my straw hat to keep the sun off my face. And my pen nife._

_I thot abowt taking Litning but my bottom still hurt. Or Haverty. But I didnt. So I walked down the rode. I walked a long way. I went soth. I now which direcshun is soth. I now New Orleens is soth so I thot I cud walk there and stay with you. I rekoned it woold take a couple days or more. I got to the place were the split rock is and I was hungry. So I climed up there and ate the food Cook gave me. It was good._

_The sun had went away and it was clowdy so I was not so hot. It felt good. And then it start to rain. The rain was cold. I got reely wet and cold. And ther was thunder and litning. Some litning hit close and I got reely scared. I membered that split rock was majic and maybe the litning liked the majic. I got down from the rock and ran into the woods. _

_Then I thot the bare that lived in the woods mite find me. If it ate me no one wud now what happen to me. I got reely scared. If I was gone a long time I was sur Papa wud come look for me. How wud he find me?_

_Wen the litning and thunder moved away I lef the woods and went to the rode. I lef the basket and my hat on the split rock but I was afrad to go get them. I did not now wat to do. If I went home Papa wud use the riding crop on me agin. I didnt want that. I tell you Monty I didnt know what to do. I stood ther in the muddy rode all wet and cold and I didnt now wich way to go._

_The mail coch came along and the driver stopped the horses becuz I was standing in the rode all wet and sad. He yelled down at me was I lost. I was not lost but I think maybe he give me a ride home. He tell me to get inside._

_Ther was a man and a woman inside the coch. They wer sitting on one side so I sat on the other seet. The woman ast me if I was hurt. I say no just wet and cold. I didn't tell her my bottom still hurt. The driver got the horses going agin and we go north. We went right by my home but I coold not tell the driver to stop so we went to town._

_At the post office a bad thing happen. A man with a gun try to rob the post ofice. He try to shoot some one, but I don't think he hit any one. Then two men jump on him. They nok me down and I fell on the gun on the floor. It didn't shoot me but I sat on it reely hard and it hurt bad in my croch._

_Papa came to get the mail and he see me hurt. He took me to the doctor who made me take of my pants. I dont like him looking at my croch like that and poking at me. It had to my hurt._

_I had to ride with Papa all the way home on his horse. I tell you Monty that hurt. I tell Papa it hurt but he say it the fastest way to get home. At home Mama looked at my croch to. I was so embaras. She saw the wip marks on my bottom. Papa tell her I deserv it._

A/N At this point I decided to try a letter from Damon's mother to her own mother. She started her letter before Damon ran away. Eventually it fits in with the above letter Damon is writing to Monty. Mention of Damon's true father ties in with my story "A Journal for Stefan."

_ My beloved Mother,_

_ You are probably surprised to hear from me at this time. I wrote not long ago at the time of Damon's birthday. I know he sent you a Thank You note for the gift you sent him. As I said in my short note, I had to prompt him to write. He is not good about such things. Except for his school work, the only writing he ever does is in letters to his friend Monty Ryan in New Orleans. Damon sometimes lets me read Monty's letters and I can tell the boy loves it there. I'm afraid Damon wishes he were there, too._

_The Ryans moved to New Orleans about a year ago. I get a letter now and then from Edith. She doesn't like the city much. She says it feels foreign to her. Now she tells me she thinks she is expecting twins. She has only one house servant. Surely she will need a nanny to help with the babies when they arrive._

_Giuseppe and I have been so satisfied with our Sophie. She is good with the boys. I don't know what I would do without her. I feel that I am somewhat stronger than I was a year ago, but I fear I will never be right. Dr. Bailey has done all he can for me. He says sometimes bearing children can have many different unfortunate effects on a woman. I know that is true of me. _

_I had so little trouble with Damon's birth, even though he was my first. Bless his little heart. And then, as you know, I lost two more babies early in my pregnancies. I had feared I would not bear Giuseppe a child of his own. I know I have told you this, but it is in my thoughts now._

_I was so happy when it seemed I would carry Stefan to the proper time. And I was overjoyed when he was born, a true son for my husband. Giuseppe was as happy as I was. He loved this boy from the moment he first held him._

_I know he loved Damon, too. Even though the baby was Connor's child, the idea of showing off a new baby boy was something that made him proud. Of course, he didn't tell people he was not Damon's natural father. Who would know? We were married in Richmond and we agreed to tell everyone we married two months before we actually did. No one would have the temerity to ask to see our marriage certificate. If anyone suspected that I was already expecting at the time of the wedding, they would still think Giuseppe was Damon's father. Luckily, Damon has dark hair. But, oh, those blue eyes!_

_Of course, the problem is that carrying Stefan and giving birth did something to my body. Dr. Bailey says it caused problems with some of my internal organs. He is not very specific. I don't think he knows precisely what the problems are. I have spoken to you about all this before, but as I said, I am now going over it in my mind and on paper._

_It has been a year and a half and I still tire easily. When Dr. Bailey insisted that I not bear another child I didn't know what to do. How does a wife deny her husband his right to her body? If I did, I knew what would happen. Like many other men, he would seek satisfaction elsewhere. I didn't want to share my husband with another woman! Anyway, as I have told you, it came to that and I now have a bedroom separate from my man's._

_He still loves me, dear Mother. I know he does. He comes to my bed, but he is very careful lest he get me with child again. It is frustrating for both of us, I think. So he gets better relief elsewhere._

_Our problem now is Damon. I love that dear boy so much, but he is a bit headstrong. And so full of energy. He has the twinkle in those blue eyes that Connor had. He is so bright, but he doesn't always apply himself at school. His teacher and his tutor have worked with him. He tries, but when he writes, he is impatient and ends up with poor penmanship, incorrect spelling and improper grammar. I dare say his friend Monty must have a terrible time reading his letters._

_Am I expecting too much from a nine-year-old boy? Damon is further bothered by jealousy regarding Stefan. The little fellow loves Damon and follows him around and wants to play with Damon's things. Damon does not want him to do that. He resents his brother. I know that is not unusual. You yourself told me an only child will resent the arrival of a new baby. _

_I have tried to show Damon a lot of love, but I don't have the energy to spend as much time with him as I want. This was especially true right after Stefan's arrival. Damon couldn't understand it. Giuseppe didn't help. He paid so much attention to the new baby, holding him and showing him off when people came to the house. This was as much as he had done with baby Damon, but Damon doesn't remember that. Or if he does, he is aware that his father's affection has switched to the new baby._

_Giuseppe still loves Damon in his own way, but the boy tries his patience. I believe Damon does things to get his father's attention and approval, but things don't go as planned and Giuseppe gets angry. He spanks the boy rather hard. I have asked him to refrain from doing so and he has stopped doing it. There are other ways to punish a child without hitting him. _

_It does not help that my husband drinks more than he used to. He spends a great deal of time in his study/library. It is his domain. He reads and he does the farm business there. And he loves his cigars and pipes. He has such a collection of pipe tobacco I don't know how he chooses what to put in the pipe. And he drinks too much. His tongue can be sharp and his temper short when he has had too much to drink. Then he is often very impatient with Damon._

_Aug. 7_

_Dear Mother, two days have gone by since I last wrote on this letter. Things have become worse between Giuseppe and Damon. More than I realized. From each of them I have garnered facts so that I think I have the whole story._

_Damon ran away today. He didn't tell anyone he was going, although he asked Cook for a basket of food. She thought he was going to share it with a friend at a picnic. Instead, he walked away, headed south on the road. _

_He has admitted to me what happened. He got caught in a thunder storm and was soaking wet. He lost the basket and his straw hat, leaving them in the area of the split rock when he ran into the woods for shelter. Then he went to the road and, unbelievably, the mail stagecoach stopped and picked him up. The driver delivered him to town at the post office._

_People there knew him, of course, and they were talking about who would bring him home when something dangerous happened. A man with a gun came in to rob the store/post office. There was a bag of money there because it was payday for the store and post office employees. Someone tried to overcome the robber and the man shot at the people there. He didn't hit anyone. Apparently there was quite a hubbub before the robber was overcome._

_Damon was injured in the fight. He was knocked down and sat down hard on the fallen gun. It didn't go off. It makes me shiver to think of the damage it might have done Daman if it had. All this is just another example of how things can go wrong for my poor little Damon._

A/N I know this is short. I am working on more of Elizabeth's letter as well as Damon's. After this episode, do you think I should jump ahead a year or two? It would mean Damon could interact more with Stefan. Or should I just drop the whole story? Please give me your opinions.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter 6_

A/N Thank you so much to those of you who have reviewed and commented. I was concerned about continuing with this story, but I will now. I will soon jump ahead, at least six months or so. This chapter starts with a continuation of Elizabeth's letter to her mother.

_Giuseppe had gone to get the mail and he walked in just as one of the men picked Damon up and he saw the gun under him. He told me Damon was crying and had his hands between his legs._

_I am sure my husband was surprised and angry that Damon was there since he was supposed to be at home, but he was concerned about Damon's injury. He told me that he picked up Damon and carried him over to Dr. Bailey's office. _

_The doctor was there and he examined the boy. Damon was apparently just bruised from his tailbone to his privates. Sort of a straddle injury, the doctor called it. Damon was even bleeding a drop or two of blood from his you-know-what. He told Giuseppe to take him home and have him sit in a pan of cold water. He said if Damon could not pass his urine, then the doctor would come to the house to do something about it. My husband told me all this when he got home and I went with him as he carried Damon up to his room._

_Giuseppe had gone to town on horseback. He made Damon ride right behind him on the horse all the way home. I'm sure the poor boy was in much pain and cried all the way. I insisted that I wanted to see the injury. Giuseppe said I didn't need to and it would embarrass Damon, but I insisted. So I had Damon remove his lower clothes, and over his fussing, I examined him carefully. The areas were already red and there was swelling of his privates. He was bruised around the base of his spine and his bowel opening. My poor baby was in a lot of pain._

_One thing made me further upset. There were two marks across his buttocks. Whip marks! I demanded from Giuseppe to know if he had whipped the boy. He admitted that he had because of the barn roof incident when the boys climbed up there and Alan Lockwood fell and hurt his ankle. He said what they had done was serious because they could have fallen to their deaths. But, dear Mother, did he have to use his riding crop?_

_Sophie brought a basin of the coldest spring water and we made Damon sit his bottom in it. I think that works best when done right after the injury. Quite some time had passed between the injury and sitting in the cold water, but what else could we do? My poor little boy. He had stopped crying, but I could tell he hurt. He kept whimpering. He gave me that look that said "Please make it better."_

_Little Stefan came along and tried to comfort Damon. I was afraid Damon was about to push him away or slap him, so I had Sophie take him to the play room again. Giuseppe left once Damon was sitting in the pan, but I stayed. I felt so bad for him. He leaned against me and I held him close and stroked his hair. I haven't done that in quite a while. Perhaps I have been neglecting him._

_As I mentioned before, he admitted that he had run away. He told me about the thunder storm and the stagecoach ride. He admitted that he didn't think we loved him any more. I spent some minutes trying to convince him that I loved him very much. I told him Giuseppe loved him too, but his father had limited patience with him._

_My poor baby was shivering from the cold water, but I had Sophie bring another pan. Damon fussed about sitting in it some more. He was shivering more and his teeth were chattering. I stayed with him and finally felt he needed to get warm again. I dried him off and had him get into bed._

_I asked him if he needed to pass his urine and he said no. I don't know if that was true or if he was afraid to try. _

_So now I am adding to my letter to you because I need to tell someone what is happening. I will talk to my husband and see if I can make him treat Damon better. I won't mail this until I can write an update tonight or tomorrow._

Damon's letter again.

_Monty, they made me to sit in cold water. That was awful. Then I went to bed. After a while I new I had to piss. I was afrad to try. I new it woold hurt. I didnt go out to the privy. I used the pot from under the bed. It took a long time for my water to come out but it finaly did. It was red at first and then it was not. That was a releef. Then I see Sofie standing in the door watching me. When I done, she came and look in the pot. She take the pot to show Papa and Mama._

_So that is what happen today Monty. I cant sit down yet. My tale bone hurt. My nuts are swolled. I'm afrad to poop but if I dont soon Sofie will make me swallow casta ol. She know what I do becuz Papa say I have to use the pot and he want to now when I poop and piss. I dont think my life can get any wors. I gess it will if Papa decide to wip me agin for running away and cawsing all this truble. The only good thing was that Mama sat with me and hug me and tell me she loves me very much._

_Now it is Wensday Monty. I am so sor I can hardly walk. I woold not hav got any sleep last nite excep Sofie gave me some medicin and I went to sleep. I didn't poop all day today becuz I new it woold hurt but after I ate som supper I had to go reel bad. I cooldn't wait. I had to do what I had to do. It was not to bad. I am glad that is over. Mama said she was prowd of me. Things are sort of sad when your Mama says she is prowd becuz you poopt. I hope she is prowd of me for other things._

_Aug. 9 Thurday I think. Do you have a hard time nowing what day it is in the summer Monty. I do. I wanted to go to see how Alan's leg is but I didnt want to walk to his house and I surely didnt want to ride. I was happy wen Alan's mother drov him over here in the buggy. We had time to play with my sojurs. His mother visit with Mama and they talk a long time._

_I showd Alan my brused privits. He was imprest. His leg is all bownd up to a bord until it heel. He has to lean on cruches but he move fast. Faster than me rite now._

_Stefan came and want to play with us. I still have not fownd the sojurs he hid. I dont know were he cud of put them. I wud not be suprize if he ate them. He just puts every thing in his mowth and chews on them. Mama say it is becuz of his new tooth. I think he just lik to get slobber on every thing. I say this to Alan and he say his litle brother Trent is like that. We laff abowt it._

_Friday. I don't think Papa is going to wip me for running away and getting hurt. I hope not. _

_My sense of humer is back I think. A funny thing happen today. I was in the play room and I see Stefan run by the door and down the hall. He was buck naked becuz he took his diper off. The wether is hot so he has nothing else on cept the diper. Mama let him be like that if we dont hav company. But he push his diper down and walk away. He has don that latly. He thinks it funny I gess. It is funny until he make a mess or a pudle. _

_I new Sofie was gone down stairs so I went after Stefan. He has lerned how to lift the lach on the gate in the hall. He has lerned abowt the stairs. He can come up them reely fast. He go down backward. By the time I got to the stairs he was already down on the landing over the front door. He was holding onto the posts and looking down. I bet some day he put his hed between the post and get it cot. I know I did that when I was a litle boy. Papa spank me after he get me free. _

_I cud hear Papa talking to a lady at the front door and Stefan was trying to see them. I went down to him and ast him what was he doing. He says Me go down. Some times he is qwiet. Some times he talks a lot. He talks to his toys a lot. He talks to me and jabbers away. Most of the time I dont know what he meens._

_I knew the lady at the door was Mrs Baly doctor Balys wife. She is a nice lady. She cam to visit Mama. When she and Papa walk past the landing me and Stefan cud look down on them. Woold you beleev it Monty if I tol you Stefan let go his water rite then. He did. His streem go out between the posts and down rite onto mrs Balys hat. She screem and Papa yell. He look up as I say no no Stefan._

_I bend down reel fast and put my hand over Stefans pisser and I pick him up. We went up the stair with his his wam water driping off my hand and his feet. He try to wiggle free but I take him to our room. I heer Papa yell my name and I think oh no, he going to wip me. I didnt do any thing bad excep not pick up Stefan fast enuf._

_Papa cam up to our room. I cud see he was mad at us. I was pulling up Stefans diper and I say how Stefans diper fell off and he open the gate and go down the stairs. Stefan was wiggling and laffing and pushing down on the diper. When I let go of him he push it down and walk naked to Papa. So Papa see how he did it._

_He ask were is Sofie and I say she go down stairs. Papa left our room and yell for Sofie. She alredy come up the stairs and he yell at her. He tell her fix Stefans diper so it wont come off. She say yes sir masta Salvatore. I think she feer he wip her. I don't member Papa ever wip Sofie. He did not. He just yell at her and then he go down stairs._

_Sofie came pick up Stefan before he go naked down the stairs agin. He laffing when she ast him what she gonna do abowt him. I had to laff to when I told her how Stefan piss on Mrs Baly. I cud see Sofie try not to laff at that but I now she think it is funny._

Elizabeth's letter again.

_Well, Damon seems to be recovering from his injury. That is a relief. Children are so quick to bounce back. _

_You would not believe what happened today, dear Mother. Cora Bailey, the doctor's wife, came calling on me today. Giuseppe was there at the door to greet her. As they walked out from under the stair landing, my darling little Stefan was standing at the railing right over their heads. He had taken off his diaper so that he was completely unclothed and he was looking down at them. The little rascal then let loose with his water and soaked Cora's new hat. Giuseppe was spattered a bit too, but Cora was carrying on like a spider had dropped on her head._

_I was in the kitchen talking to Cook and I heard her screaming so I rushed out there. Giuseppe quickly explained what had happened and then he rushed up the stairs to see where the boys were. I took Cora to the kitchen to get water to clean her hat. She had urine on the shoulders of her dress and on the bodice. I had a hard time keeping from laughing._

_We are having a hard time keeping Stefan in his clothing. He enjoys undressing and running around nude. I can't blame him in this hot weather, but obviously there is a problem with that. We have started potty training him, but he isn't ready for it. I don't want Giuseppe to get upset and perhaps spank Stefan for accidents. This time all he did was reprimand Sophie for letting Stefan do what he did._

_In the end, Cora found some humor in the incident. It has been thirty years since her only son was a small child. He and his wife and children live in Ohio, so she does not have much to do with small children and babies. You would think a doctor's wife might be a midwife or nurse, but not Cora. She is younger than her husband, but both of them are getting up there in age._

_Some day we will need a new doctor. I have been told that the Gilberts' oldest boy Lindsey wants to be a doctor. He's still a boy himself so there is no telling what he will really become when he grows up. Who knows, he may be Mystic Falls new doctor some day? Who knows what my own boys will become?_

A/N I hope you all liked this chapter. I think I will jump ahead in the time line, probably to Stefan's birthday. I'll see.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter 7_

_A/N Sorry about the delay with this chapter. I think I have it together now. I have been moving paragraphs around. I hope I haven't left duplicates here and there. It'll make for confusing reading LOL._

_November 18 Sunday _

_I got yor new letter today Monty. I always look forward to get it. You said yor mama is carry two babys in her belly. How did she lern that? What is a voodoo lady? Is she some kind of doctor that can tell abowt babys just by laying a hand on yor mamas belly? That is strange. I dont think we have any voodoo lady doctors here._

_My Mama has never said she want to grow another baby. I am glad becuz Stefan is all the one I can stand. He will be two years old in a few days. I don't have any thing I can call my own. He gets into every thing and he brake stuff. I tell him to leeve my things alone but he pays no atenshun. He is so stuburn now. If I tell him to do some thing he say no. He say no to every one. Some times he says no when he really means yes. I think it is his favorite word. _

_I ast Sofie if I cud have my own room now. I think I am big enough. Sofie say I have to ask Papa abowt that. It woold be so good to have my own room._

_Alan and Douglas and I rode our ponies over to Martha Laceys place this morning. Do you member Martha? Her father has a big gray horse that pulls the plow and wagon. The gray horse had two babys like yor mama will have. The baby foals are black. This is not the rite time of yeer for horse babys to be born Marthas papa says but there they are. They are sort of big for babys I think. Hefty. All foals are leggy, but these are heftyer than a riding horse foal. _

_Marthas papa says they will turn gray when they are older. Litning is gray. I wonder if he was black when he was born. Marthas papa joke and say he had brown hair but it turn white one yeer. He says it was preemachur and happen becuz a bare scare him. I think he was just joking with us. Anyway I dont know what preemachur means._

_Guess wat Monty. I finally got a room of my own. I ask Papa at lunchtime. I tell him I think I am big enuf to have a room of my own. The room I share with Stefan is call the nursry. I am nine and a haf yeers old and I dont need to be in with a baby like Stefan. I was so surprise when Papa say all rite. Mama was there and she grin at me. She is happy too._

_So this afternoon Mama and Sofie and Joshua move my bed into the room across the hall. When I look out the window I can see the front drive and the road. The other room look to the back and the barn and every thing but I like this view too. _

_Joshua took away the bed that was in the room and put mine in it. My bed is not as big as the one Joshua took out. I like my own bed. And my desk and chair and my books. Stefan is too small for those things any way. _

_Mama tell Sofie to get the small table and chair from the play room and put in the nursry for Stefan. He likes to sit and pretend to rite and draw. Mostly he just makes a mess. He has ruint some of my books by drawing in them. I am so happy to get away from him. I can close the door to my room and he cant come in._

_November 19 Monday_

_ Well Monty there is a problem with having a room of my own and closing the door. All the doors upstairs except Stefans and the play room have hooks up high where he cant reach. They keep him from just going in any room like Mamas or Papas or Sofies little room. Sofie is the only servant who sleeps on this floor so she is close to me and Stefan. _

_When he see my door is close and he know I am in here he stand in the hall and yell Day Mom Day Mom open door. Then he bang on the door with his hands. He turn the door nob but I have a lock inside. I tell him to go away. Go play. He wont go away. Some times he bang and yell until Sofie take him away._

_Papa says let him in so he will be qwiet. What is the point of having my own room if I cant keep Stefan out? I can keep it neet. I like neet instead of the mess Stefan make. My books are neet on the shelfs. My desk is not a mess. Sofie makes my bed but I can do it all rite. She says I do a good job. Papa says making a bed neet is the servants job and not for his son to do. I like that I can do it rite. I cant do much rite for Papa anyway. Mama say she likes my neet room. I like to do things rite for Mama becuz she smiles and gives me a hug. It make me feel good._

_Another thing I do rite is play two little songs on the piano. Mama teach me. I wish my hands were bigger but I can still play. I don't play for Papa. Just for Mama. I cant do it when Stefan is downstairs. He try to help me by hitting any old keys. It sounds terrible. And he leave sticky finger marks on the keys._

_Well Monty there was another thing I didn't think about. Stefan didnt want to go to sleep this evening when I was not there in the room. I am usually ther reading or riting to you. He was supposed to go to sleep but he kept asking where Day Mom? He started to cry and Sofie try to tell him I was just across the hall. I finally had to go over there and tell him I was just in the other room and for him to go to sleep. When I go to the door he started yelling no no Day Mom stay. I decided if we were going to get any peece I better stay until he go to sleep._

_ He lay down but he kept watching me so I could not sneek out. He reech up to me and I took his hand. It was wet becuz he suck his thumb. He swich hands so he could put his thumb back in his mouth. I decided to sing a little song I know. I had to sing it six times before Stefan fell asleep and I could get my hand free. I know he likes to follow me around but I didnt think he care where I sleep._

_November 20 Tuesday_

_ Well Monty I have to tell you I am tired this afternoon. I was tired this morning when I had to get up and get ready to go to school. During the nite I had a funny dream that Stefan was calling me and I could not get my bedroom door unlock. I tried every thing. Stefan cried louder and louder. I finally woke up and he really was crying. I could see the light from the lamp under my door. Sofie had lit it and I could hear her talking to Stefan. I clime out of my nice warm bed and went over there. Even Mama was there. She was holding Stefan on her lap and she was rocking him in the rocking chair. His face was all red and wet from crying but he perked up as soon as he saw me._

_ He reach out to me. I don't like to pick him up much and hold him. He is getting heavy and he wiggles a lot and some times he is wet. We could see he wanted me to hold him so I took him from Mama. He hug me and ast me where I was. I told him I was right across the hall and he ast why? I took him over there and Sofie brought the lamp. Mama came too. _

_ I show Stefan my bed. Mama say lie down so Stefan can see. She take him from me and I got into bed. Mama say to him see Damons in his bed and he is going to go to sleep. I closed my eyes so he think I am asleep. Mama say hush to him. Tell him not to wake up Damon. Then she took him across the hall to his room. I reckoned he would cry again but he didnt. We all went back to sleep until I had to get up for breakfast and get ready to go to school._

_I am riting to you now with my dog Haverty with me in my room. He is not supose to be here. He spends a lot of time outside. He is a good dog. He is not a pest like Stefan. I cant put Stefan outside and attach him to a chain so he stay in one place. Some times I wish I coold. You must think I am a terrible big brother Monty. I don't meen to be but Stefan drive me crazy some times. And I feel angry when I see Papa pick him up and talk silly to him. Papa hardly ever talk to me any more unless I do some thing that make him angry._

_November 22 Thursday_

_Today is Stefans second birthday. We all are going over to the Gilbert house for dinner in a little while. It is the Thanksgiving time of year when the pilgrims had dinner with the Indians. I don't think there are any Indians in Virginia any more like back in the days when Danel Boon was alive. Or Davy Croket. Papa told me once that Davy Croket died at a place called Alamo four yeers before I was born. Thats a long time ago now. I dont know when Danel Boon died. Do you?_

_It is later now Monty. I am going to rite this before I go to bed. I had a good time over at the Gilberts. We had a big dinner. Cook went over there to help Mrs Gilbert make the food. She has a irish lady that cooks too. The three irish servants talk so funny. They are not slaves. They are indenchurd servants. I don't reely know what that meens but Mama told me they will be free after they work for the Gilberts a few more years._

_Our cook made a little cake for Stefan and a big cake for the rest of us. And there were pies. Of course we had turkey and ham and lots of other things. I like animals and Papa says I should not give our pigs or chickens names. It just makes me feel bad when it is time to kill them. I know we have pigs so we will have hams and all. We woold not have any meat if not for the animals but I always feel bad when they die._

_I should not think of all that. Today was a school day and we children make pictures of pilgrims and Indians and turkeys. Not everyone agrees when we should have Thanksgiving dinner. Some say it should be next Thursday. We do it today becuz it is Stefans birthday. He does not now any thing about Thanksgiving anyway. We all get together for a big meal and we all have fun._

_Except for Alexandra Gilbert. You remember her Monty? She used to go to school and be in our class but then she got sick. I dont know what it rong with her but I tell you Monty she look terible. She is so thin and pale and she got bruses. She spends a lot of time in bed or in a chair but she did sit with us for a little wile at the table. I watch Lindsey. He cut up some of her food for her but she hardly touch any. I could tell he is very worry about his sister. She is the one closest to him in age. I think he is twelve and she is nine or ten. Roland must be six and Amy four. Billy is two like Stefan._

_I herd Mama say to Papa after we got home that Alexandra is not going to live much longer. That is sad. I know after some one die they are put in a wood box and buried in the ground. I ast Mama if the person in the box gets scare buried in the ground. She say no becuz they are dead and their sole go to hevan to be with Jesus. She say their sole is the live part and it is not in the ground. I don't understand that but it must be tru or Mama woold not say that._

_Mama reed to me from the Bible book. There are a lot of stories. I don't understand some of it becuz God the father talks to people but he does not live on the erth. He is up in the sky some where. So are all the people who died. I never see them up there or hear them. Mama says they some time look down on us and wach over us like my grampa and gramma Salvatore that died before I was born._

_I am not sure I like that. I was playing with my pisser and I wonder if some one up there was waching me. I stop playing with it. I tell you Monty I know I am not suppose to play with it but I like how it feel and how it stand up. Stefan saw me do that one day and he come over and want to touch it. I let him but he pinch me so I push him away. Let him touch his own. Now I got my own room no one see me do that. Well except for the people in heven watching me. If that is tru. I hope not. I wonder if grownups tell kids that just so they be good._

A/N Well, I hope you guys liked this chapter. There was more of Damon with Stefan.


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter 8_

A/N Thanks for the reviews, you all. I appreciate that. I am moving Damon forward in the months, but I haven't jumped really far ahead. I hope you like what Damon is writing anyway.

_November 26 Monday At supper today Papa was telling Mama about a man who has come back to town. I dont now him. He has been in Californya for a yeer at the place where they are hunting for gold. Papa says the man went out west acrost the planes and then he came back on a ship. I dont know what the planes are but Papa showed me on a map. He says it is a long way from here to there eether walking or riding a horse. A lot father than to New Orleans were you are Monty. _

_And wen the man came back on the ship he had to walk across a place called Panama. On the map it look like a short way but Papa say it is a place of sicness and very dangerus. Then the man got on another boat to get to Virginia. Papa say it is a miracal the man didnt die of sicness or get rob of his gold and money. But he made it home Monty and he is rich. Papa say a lot of people go to Californya to try to get rich but a lot of them die trying. Except for the sicness and dying part, it sounds like a big advenchure._

_December 26 Well Monty it's the day after Christmas. We had a lot of fun yesterday. I got presents I like. I even got one from Stefan. I know he did not make it himself. It's a little wooden steem engine. No real steem of course. Sometime next yeer there will be a reel railroad train coming to Charlotsville from the east somewhere. Papa and Mama said we can go see it and maybe take a short ride on it. I am excited about that._

_My Gramma in Richmon sent me a reely nice book. Lots of pictures of things. She knows I love books. I hope you got a book for Christmas. I now you love to reed storys of advenchure. Me too. I miss you and me reeding and talking about the stories._

_January 3 1850 It is so strange to rite 1850. My teacher says it is a new decade which meens ten years. It has been ten years since 1840 which was the year I was born. I will be ten years old in June this yeer. Where does the time go? Mama says that all the time._

_January 8 I got into a fight at school today. Monty, do you remember George Hatten? He picked on Alan today, punching him and nocked him down and that made me angry becuz George is bigger than Alan and was hurting him so I jumped on George. I hit him and made his nose bleed. I got a black eye cuz he punch me in the face. Another boy got in the fight too but two of the teachers came and made us stop. We all got our bottoms paddled for fighting. I dont know why George was mad at Alan._

_When I got home Papa saw my eye and ask what happened. I cud see he was mad at me mostly becuz my good coat was torn. I was afraid he would spank me or even whip me. Well he spank me with his hand. He ask me why I do things that make him disappoint in me? I dont try to do that. I think I am doing the rite thing and it turns out rong. I think I did rite to help Alan._

_Papa has not whipt me since the first time but I fear that he will agin. It hurt bad enuff when he use his hand and this time I was already a bit sore from getting paddled at school. I sometime look at my bottom in Mamas big mirror and I can see the whip marks are finally gone. I dont want Papa to add new ones._

_January 9 I reelly got a black eye. It is almost closed up. At school some of the boys think I was so brave to jump on George. He is big and he can be meen. I got other bruzes but they dont show._

_January 20 Me and Howard Fell went over to Alans house. His father has a new horse. It is a nice animal. It is a Cleveland Bay, according to Alan. Well Monty I learned something today. I am embarast to think I did not now this befor. The new horse is a stallion. I ask Alan what that meen and he said how come I didnt know that. He showed me and Alan. The horse has testiculs._

_I didn't know all the other boy horses around here don't have testiculs. All the boy horses are geldings. I knew that word but I didn't know what that reely ment. Their nuts had been cut off when they were yong. That news sort of made mine hurt. Why would some one do that I ast Alan. He said testiculs make the horse meen and hard to manaj._

_So I ast why did his papa get a meen horse. The horse didnt look meen. He was just standing in his stall eating hay. Alan said the horse is a trained coach horse and can be used for breeding. I tell you Monty, I know breeding meens a mare has been with a boy horse and she will have a baby. I didnt know the geldings cant make a mare have a baby foal. A gelding has a pisser but no testiculs. Did you know that, Monty. It made me feel better that Howard didnt know it either. Us farm boys should know that sort of thing._

_When I went home Papa was working on his leger book. He dont like to be bother when he is doing that, but I told him about the stallion and ast him why he never told me about geldings. He said he never thought about it because no one right around here has a stallion. He ast if the horse looked like a good one and I said yes._

_January 26 Alan and Howard and I had a lot of fun today at Alans house. We sure did get dirty with mud because the snow has melted and the mud was slipry. Today was sort of warm. When I got home Mama say I have to take a bath. We don't take baths much in the winter but I don't mind as long as the water is warm. Cook heated water and pour it in the tub for me. Our tub is put in the store room next to the kitchen and there is a curtin in the door. On bath day we each get to take a bath. The dirtiest person goes last._

_I don't like to be last because the water gets cool and dirty. Mama get to go first. Papa says ladys get the cleanest water. If I am really dirty I have to wash after Papa. If I am not reely dirty I get to wash after Mama along with Stefan. I don't trust him because he maybe piss in the water or have poop on his bottom._

_Today was a bath just for me. I love the water when it is nice and warm. In the winter I could sit in it for a while even after I get clean. Today I was so dirty in my hair and on my back that Mama was there to wash me. I think I am too big for Mama to be there but she wash my hair and my neck and my back better than I do it. Then she let me sit in the water and enjoy it._

_In a few minutes she come back with a picher of warm water and tell me to stand up. I did with my back to her and she pour the water over me to get the dirty water off. She touch my bottom and say the old wip marks are gone. She scrub the back of my legs becuz I didn't do there._

_She ast did I do my croch and I told her I did. I reely did cuz the mud got there when Alan push me and I sat down in it. She made me bend over so she cud see my bottom better. She say how I get mud there and she take a cloth and wash me there. That embaras me. I need to do a better job of washing all my body._

_I think Sophie is not happy with me becuz she has to wash my muddy close. I now she love me anyway. Joshua clean my boots reel good._

_Stefan has been good about keeping his close on. I think that is becuz he feel cold if he take them off. We have small fire places in our rooms but most of the time there is no fire. Mama worry Stefan will get to the fire even if there is a screen in front. I think he learn already that the screen is hot when a fire is going._

_Stefan is in my room right now. I am trying to write this letter to you and he is pulling things off my shelfs. I have to watch him so he does not break things or write in my books. He talks all the time, just yabbering away. And he asks all the time what is that or why. I tell him to go away or be qwiet but he just say no and yabbers some more. I can shut my door but he does not like that and bangs on the door. Mama says he will not do that when he gets older. I am not so sure. I am not sure if he likes me or he likes to annoy me. Maybe it is both._

_February 5, 1850 Papa went to the post office to get the mail like he always duz and when I got home he had a letter for me from you. I love to get your letters Monty. You say your mama is very fat with two babys and she say she feels like she is big as a house. When is she going to foal. I know she isnt a horse but I dont know the word for having a baby. I am going to ask Mama._

_I am back. Mama says a woman gives birth or delivers her baby. It takes about nine months for it to grow inside her. She says sometimes a baby come early like the one Mrs. OToole just had. Early babys are small and sometimes dont live. Mrs. OToole has a lot of children. Mary is a baby Stefans age I think. You remember Patrik dont you. He is our age. He has all that curly red hair and frekels all over his face. He must never get away from his brothers and sisters. Im glad I only have one brother._

_February 12, 1850 Well Monty George Hatten got back at me for braking his nose last month. I thought he had forgotten all about the fight. He didn't do anything to me all this time but today at school I went out to the privy and George was there. I know he duz not like me. I don't like him so we are even._

_I was starting to piss down the hole when he push me hard. I fell forward against the wall and I saw stars in my head. I guess I was almost nocked out. I felt dizzy and fell down on the seat with my face in the seat hole. It smell terrible but I could not move. I could heer George laughing and he hold me down. Then he punch my back and that hurt. Then he run away and leeve me there._

_I slipped off the seat and fell onto the floor. I could hear a buzzing sound in my ears. It was strange. I felt like I was week as a baby. I just laid there smelling the piss on the floor. That was not as bad as when my face was in the hole._

_I sort of wondered how long I would have to lie there. Would anyone come and find me before I freez to death. Then I remember that my trousers were unbutton but I couldn't move to button them. I guess it didn't matter. Only boys would come into the boys privy._

_Then one of the little boys came to the privy and he see me. He got scared and ran to find someone. I could hear him crying. I wanted to get up and button my pants and pretend I had not fall down. It felt like I was lying there for a long time but I think it was a short time. Then the dizziness went away and I started to move again._

_A teacher came and the principal. The teacher was a woman. That embarast me becuz I was sitting on the floor trying to button my trousers. And they were wet with piss. I tell you Monty I sometimes wonder why these things happen to me._

_The two grownups ask me what happen. help me stand up and hold onto me when I almost fall down again. I decided not to tell that George pushed me and all. I just said I got dizzy and fell and hit my head. I said I was all right now. I didnt know it but I had a lump on my forhead. _

_So I had to go back to class with my pants wet and my face dirty and a lump on my forhead. And I had a sore place on my back. I tell you Monty I will get George for that._

A/N I hope you all liked the further adventures of Damon. I have a hard time thinking of things for him to do, though.


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9_

A/N Thanks to you all who are reading and following and letting me know you like the story.

"_Revenge"_

_After school Alan walked home from school with me as far as his house. He ask me what happen and I told him. He ask what am I going to do about George. I said I would think of something._

_When I got home I went in the back door. I thought if I snuk in the kichen maybe I would not run into Papa. He usually knows when someone come in the front door because Joshua open the door and greet who it is. Not always. Some times Joshua is busy doing some thing. Anyway Monty I did get into the house and to the stairs without Papa seeing me. _

_I dont know why I was afraid he would be mad. I didnt figure to tell him about George. I would just say I got dizzy. In my room I look in the mirror and see the bump on my head. It is not big, but it is a bruse. I cant hide it. _

_ Sophie came from Stefan's room and see how I look. She went for a picher of water so I can wash my face. I put on clean close while she was gone and wash my face when she get back so I look better. She ask why my close smell and I told her I got dizzy and fell in the privy. I guess she told Mama because Mama came and look at my bruse. _

_ Stefan came and look at my bruse too. He must have been napping becuz he look sleepy and had his thumb in his mouth. He just stared at my bump. He say You got hurty. He calls cuts and bumps hurtys. He look so worried I told him it was all right. I always have a cut or bruise some where and he always look worried when he see that._

_ Mama planted a soft kiss on my bump and say it make it better. I know that isnt true but I like Mama to hug and kiss me when no one is looking. Of course Stefan was looking but he is little and duz not count. He hug my leg insted._

_ At supper Papa ask what happen and of course and I told him my fib. He seemed to believe me. He ask why I was dizzy. Was I sick. I told him I didnt feel sick and I wasnt dizzy any more. He ask did I get into another fight and I said no which is true. I never got a chance to fight back at George. That was a coward thing for him to do. He is a bully._

_February 14, 1850 Well Monty I think Alan and I got back at George. As you know we all bring our lunch pails to school and leave them in the coat room. When no one was in there I went in while Alan stood by the door watching for any one. It took Georges lunch pail and pissed in it. I know that was a bad thing to do, but he attack me right in the middle of when I was pissing in the privy. Then I close the lunch pail and put it back. Me and Alan went to the class room like we did nothing._

_George was so mad he yelled and his face got red. He said I did that. I said I did not and why would I do something nasty like that. George couldnt say anything about the privy thing in front of the teacher. I think he not sure it was me. He has picked on more kids than Alan and me. I know he push down a younger boy and ripped up a book one of the girls brought to school. He is mean. Even his little brother is mean probably because George picks on him too._

_Even though I get mad at Stefan I know he is not mean. I hope he does not grow up to be a cry baby over every thing. Mama says he cries about things now because he is little and cant do any thing about any thing he doesnt like. Well wait til he gets big like me and find out he still cant do much about things he doesnt like. Except piss in Georges lunch pail. Ha ha._

_March 15, 1850 Well Monty when I got home from school there was your letter to me on the foyer table. I am always happy to get your letter. _

_So you now have two little brothers. Harry and Higgins. They cry a lot dont they. When you hold them were you afraid you will drop them. I remember holding Stefan just a bit after he was born. Mama and Papa watch me like a hawk to make sure I didnt drop him. He was sleeping so he was not crying and wiggling._

_I tell you Monty Stefan is such a wiggler now if I pick him up which I don't do much. He doesn't know what he wants. He say pick me up and then he say he want down. Most of the time I would rather play with my dog Haverty than with Stefan. Papa says share with Stefan. Most of the time I hate that._

_No, George has not done any thing more to make me mad at him. He is still a bully and push kids and call them names like cry baby and stuff._

_Mama has been reading a book to me before I go to sleep. I can read of course but this book has a lot of big words that I don't know. It is a good story of adventure about a man named Robinson Cruso. He travels on a ship and it sinks and he is stuck on an island. You would like it. Ask your Papa if he buy it for you and maybe your Mama or him could read it to you. I think it is more fun when someone reads to you and changes their voice for the different people._

_I cant imagine the ocean and islands so far from bigger land that you cant see them. The only island I have seen that is not close to land is the one in the lake. Papa, Mama and me went once with the Gilberts to a big cabin in the woods by the lake. Mr. Gilbert took me and Linsy and Roland in a row boat over to the island in the middle. It was quite a way. And there were hills and woods all around the lake. We were not in the mountains but they were close. _

_I wish the mountains were closer. Papa says there are trails in the mountains and people ride their horses up there. And there are bears and catamounts up there. That is scary. I know we have bears here but I have only seen one once._

_We walked all the way around the island so I know it is not connect to the rest of the land. Then Mr. Gilbert let Lindsy row us back to the cabin. We went fishing there too but I like fishing in Willow Creek with Papa more. We dont do that much but I know how to cast the line with a fly on the hook. Papa show me how and he says I do it good._

_June 8, 1850 Well Monty I am ten years old today. And Mama messure me on the door frame where there are marks from each time she messure me. I am a little taller than last time. Mama says Sophie will have to fix my close so they will fit me when school starts after summer._

_I don't want to think about school now. It is over for the summer. Cook made a special cake for me for my birthday. She wrote a big ten in green mint frosting on the cake and stuck a candle in the middle. I got to blow it out before Stefan did. He does not blow right yet and I didnt want him spitting on my cake._

_Papa supprise me today. He says I am a big boy now and he says I must call him father from now on. I ask him why and he says because he say so. I ask Mama if I need to write a capital F like I make a capital P for Papa. She says yes. So now Papa is Father. I _

_know I will forget. I hope he dosnt spank me if I forget too much. Grownups make strange rules dont they._

_June 15, 1850 I tell you Monty I had a close call today. I was out walking along the path by Willow Creek with my dog Haverty. I usually ride my pony along there but I decided to walk over to the creek and along the path. The weather is wonderful and flowers are blooming. The trees are green with new leaves. The hay is growing in our fields._

_You told me in one of your letters that New Orleans does not have real changes in the seesons like summer and fall. No snow in winter just a cold wind. I think I would miss the snow. Not a lot. I like warm wether better. You said they grow sugar cane near New Orleans. I know sugar. And I know what a cane fishing pole is but I don't know what sugar cane is. Tell me in your next letter._

_You told me in one of your letters that New Orleans does not have real changes in the seesons like summer and fall. No snow in winter just a cold wind. I think I would miss the snow but I don't like when I have to get up from my nice warm bed in the morning. I like warm wether better. _

_I was going to tell you what happened. I was running along the path by the creek and Haverty was behind me. He stops to sniff at bushes and trees and he lifts a leg here and there. Anyway Monty I almost stepped on a big ole rattler. It was sunning itself in a patch of sunshine and it blended in with the dirt and the old leaves. It saw me coming I guess cuz it rared up and rattled its tail at me. I came to a skidding halt but I was just about in striking range._

_I figured I either had to stand real still or ease back out of range. I decided I wanted to ease back before Haverty came running up to me. He would get all exited about the snake and he might try to attack it although I think he knows better. He has not got bit by a snake yet but he must have seen them. He's a bit over two years old now. So I slowly eased back while the snake rattled and kept a eye on me. Its tong kept flicking out like it was tasting me in the air. I was whispering to it saying please don't strike please don't strike. I figured as big as he was I would be a goner if he got me._

_Well Monty I was lucky. He didn't strike me and I got far enuff back that I turned around and ran back the other way. I called Haverty to me and he never did see the snake. I should have been carrying a walking stick. I knew that but I almost never take one. With my luck I would probably trip on it and fall right on a snake. I reckon that would make a rattler a bit angry._

_My heart was beating fast as I ran back along the path and then alone the track to our barn. I ran in and told Silas about the big rattler. He ask about where the snake was and I told him. I remember it was near the pile of rocks. He took his machete and a hoe and headed out that way. He say tell Papa where he go._

_I went to the house and found Papa doing his leger book. I say Papa I almost got bit by a big rattler and Silas go after it. He say he take a gun and go look because a big snake on the path is dangerous for people walking and riding there. And he add didnt he tell me to call him Father. I said yes sir Father._

_Well Monty it turn out that Silas found that snake still in the sunny spot and he kill it. Maybe there are others out there in the rocks. They like to hide in nooks and crannys. Most times you dont even know they are there. At least the rattlers give you a warning. Are there rattlers in New Orleans. Have you seen any more alligators._

A/N Well, I hope you all liked this chapter. I tell you, Monty, I have a hard time coming up with things for Damon to write. Any more ideas?


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10_

A/N Yes, the lunch pail incident was a bit disgusting, but Damon thought it was just the thing. I am going to jump a year ahead now. The problem is I don't know what eleven-year-old boys do. Hopefully, they spell better. Damon has definitely improved.

_June 9, 1851 _

_My dear friend Monty, I was happy to get your letter today. It arrived right after my birthday so it is a present. I am eleven now. We surely are not little kids anymore._

_That is wonderful that your father got you a new horse. I really like my pony Lightning and he is good-sized, but Father says he will get me a horse when I am 12 or 13 if I grow much taller. I intend to grow taller. I should be as tall as Father when I am grown up, don't you think? He says he is five feet and eight inches tall._

_I understand about your little brothers. Stefan was such a little pest when he was about fifteen months old. He still is. He follows me around and asks a lot of questions. Father sometimes takes him for a ride on one of the horses. Sometimes he rides right in front of Father or Father puts him on the little pony and holds onto him. The pony is so patient with him even though Stefan wiggles and kicks him and shakes the reins. The pony just plods along._

_I have put Stefan in front of me on Lightning but my pony does not like his kicking and wiggling around. Father says it probably isn't safe to give him rides on Lightning. As for me, I love the speed and power my little horse gives me. And he certainly can jump. I rode him in April when Father, Mama and I went with the foxhunt at the Lockwood place. It is so exciting galloping across the fields and over the fences. Of course, with the crops growing we can't be digging up the fields by thundering through them anymore._

_I was riding Lightning toward Willow Creek the other day and he shied at something beside the trail, a rabbit or a snake maybe. Before I got him under control and back on the trail we had almost run down two of the slaves working in the hay field. They jumped out of the way and frowned, but of course they didn't say anything. Slaves don't yell at the master's son no matter what he's doing._

_Alan and I plan to ride somewhere every day this summer. Douglas Ross rides with us sometimes and Howard Fell too. We are the Four Horsemen. Howard is a year older, as you may remember, but he's likes us and he's fun. He's my size so it doesn't seem like he's older. _

_He has his own horse. It is a funny color, mostly white with black spots all over it. It reminds me of the Dalmatian dog the Fells have. The horse really isn't very pretty if you ask me. Howard says it is an apaloosy from out west somewhere. He says it is an Indian horse. It would look better if it did not have such a short wispy tail and had a better mane. It has plenty of energy though._

_We like to imagine the apaloosy was ridden by a wild Indian with feathers in his hair and a bow and arrow in his hands. Maybe he was chasing bufalos. Father says the Indians had to hunt bufalos on foot before horses came with the Spanish explorers. He says there used to be bufalos even in Virginia a long time ago. I asked him if he ever saw one and he said no, it was before his time._

_Did you ever see Mr. Little Deer? He is an old man. He must be over fifty years old. He has a lawyer office in town. I never realized it but he is an Indian. Alan says his father told him that. Mr. Little Deer is not my idea of a wild Indian because he wears a lawyer suit and doesn't have feathers in his hair. Also, I thought Indians had darker skin. I asked Father about him. Father just said he came from New York state. I got the impression Father didn't like him much. I don't know if it is because he is an Indian or because he is from up north._

_I tell you Monty, it's tricky to know your place in society sometimes. Who do you like or not?. Who is your superior or who do you look down on? Who do you show respect to and who should show respect to you? It's confusing, isn't it? Are things different in New Orleans?_

_Good news, Monty, George Hatton got beaten up on the last day of school. He had been picking on one of the younger kids. He is always making fun of someone or pushing someone down or something. Anyway, the little kid has two older brothers. I don't think you know any of them because they moved here about the time you moved away. The two brothers got George after school and gave him quite a thrashing. A bunch of us saw it happen. Most of us thought George deserved it. It made me happy._

_June 22, 1851 Well, Monty, I got into trouble today. I was running in the house with Stefan chasing me. He isn't very fast but he is getting faster and he is noisy. We were playing tag, which we are not supposed to play in the house. It was raining outside and that's why we were doing it._

_I ran right into Father as he came out of the study. I knocked his favorite pipe right out of his hand and it broke when it hit the floor. He was really angry and shouted at me. He grabbed my arm and hauled me into the study. When he closed the door I knew I was going to get spanked. I don't like that at all, of course. Father hits hard._

_Well, he didn't spank me. He took that leather riding crop of his and hit me three times across by bare behind. I know I screamed each time he hit me and I tried to get away, but he had hold of me real tight. When he let me go I held up my pants in front and ran upstairs to my room. I could hear Stefan crying and I knew my crying scared him. He came to my door, but I had it locked._

_That was the first time Father whipped me since that first time when Alan and I were on the barn roof. I had hoped he would never do it again, but I was wrong. I lay on my stomach on my bed and I was miserable and I waited for the pain to ease up. It didn't really. I heard Sophie at the door and she whispered that she had salve to put on the marks. _

_I remembered that it helped the other time so I got up and unlocked the door. She came in, but so did Stefan. I laid down on my bed again with my bare behind showing and let Sophie smear the salve on. I had to bury my face in the pillow to keep from yelling some more. Stefan kept asking if my "hurty" felt better yet. I finally yelled at him to shut his mouth. I wasn't in any mood to deal with him. Sophie took him away and closed my door._

_I might add that my mother was not home at the time. She was visiting Mrs. Lockwood. I realized that Father was more likely to whip me if Mama was not home. I will have to remember that. _

_Mama didn't come to my room when she came home. Instead she went to her room and took a nap. She sometimes gets tired easily. I know sometimes she doesn't feel very good. I don't know why. It seems to me she had a lot more energy before Stefan was born but I don't know why that would be._

_I didn't know how I could keep Mama from finding out I got whipped. I didn't feel like going downstairs when suppertime came. I didn't feel like doing anything. I just laid there on my bed with my bottom uncovered._

_Mama found out just before supper. Stefan told her I got a bad hurty on my bottom. She came to my room and walked right in. I don't have a lot of privacy. Do you, Monty? I was embarrassed for her to see me like I was. She stared at my whip marks and then she left the room. I could hear her argue with Father. It doesn't do much good. Father is the man of the house and everyone's boss._

_Mama did come back and I could tell she had been crying. That hurts me that I made her cry. I know it was Father that made her cry, but it was still because of me._

_I am writing to you tonight standing up. I didn't go downstairs for supper. In fact I didn't get any supper at all. Father is mad at me and said I have to stay in my room until breakfast. I'm hungry. I'd be thirsty too except Sophie brought a pitcher of water for me to wash my face and hands. She knew I would drink some of the water. She may sneak me something to eat before she goes to bed. I hope so._

_June 23, 1851 Alan rode his pony over here this morning. We had plans to ride with a couple of the other boys, but I had to tell Alan I couldn't go. I told him Father whipped my rump and I couldn't ride. We went out to the barn and just talked and watched the horses graze in the pasture. Not very exciting. I told Alan why I got whipped._

_He was sympathetic. I think that is the right word. His father has taken a belt to his rump a few times. I find that hard to picture. Mr. Lockwood is so proper, a gentleman. I guess that doesn't mean he can't get angry enough to take a belt to one of his kids._

_While we were out in the barn one of the barn cats came along with two little kittens following behind her. They are so cute, Monty. So soft except for their tiny claws. We each picked one up. The mother cat watched us like a hawk. She didn't trust us with her babies, but we held them for a couple of minutes, patting them and talking silly to them. I wonder why people just naturally talk funny to babies and kittens and puppies._

_My dog Haverty came into the barn and the mother cat hissed and got all puffed up. We put the kittens down so she could take them to some safe place. I held onto Haverty's collar just to be sure he didn't chase them. He is pretty good around cats for a hunting dog._

_I took Alan over to where our milk cow grazes. Her calf is so funny to watch. His is so full of energy. She has a calf about every year and it stays with her a little while and then it is taken away. Otherwise the calf gets the milk and we get what's left. Cook says we need all our milk for drinking, cooking and making butter. She even makes some cheese. I have helped churn the butter a few times. That is hard work after a bit. _

_Father says it is not my job to do kitchen work, but I sometimes stay in the kitchen talking to Cook or Sooner. Sooner is Cook's daughter. She is fourteen years old, I think. Father told me when he bought Cook she had a little girl so he bought both of them. Cook is married to Silas our stableman. I guess they jumped the broom years ago. I wonder if they ever wish they had a wedding like white folks do with a minister and fancy clothes._

_One time Father told me that in Africa a man gets a bride by paying for her with cows. I wonder if that is true or if Father was just joking. Maybe it is true. It would be too bad if a African man and woman fell in love but he had no cows to buy her. Father says Africans have a primitive culture, not civilized like white people's culture._

_You know, Monty, my Mama treats the slaves different from Father. She doesn't say much about that except she has told me to be kind to people and she means the slaves too. I think she feels differently about the coloreds than Father does. Maybe that is just a woman's way._

A/N Please keep in mind that Giuseppe was quite racially biased, not uncommon for the time and place that he lived. Children were raised to believe the same as their parents, depending on their race and their life circumstances. Damon is learning to think about this and to question some of what he is told. Comments?


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter 11_

A/N I've been trying to get out a chapter about every five or six days, but since I now have three stories going at the same time, it's not easy. So, I may end up needing longer for each one. Sorry about that. Thank you to all those who are reading, favoriting and commenting.

_July 4, 1851 We had such a good time today, Monty. Our family joined the Gilberts for a big picnic. Then we went to town where there was a carnival with rides like swings and carasel flying horses. I'm sure you remember from when you lived here. There were a couple of things that Stefan and Billy could ride on. Not the swings or flying horses. Little kids might fall off. _

_There were even some fireworks, but Father says everyone worried about the drowt and the fireworks causing a fire. Nothing happened and it was exciting to see the sky lit up with the exploding rockets. They scared Stefan. His eyes were so big while he watched them and he hung onto Father's leg. So America is 75 or 76 years old. I forget which and I'm not going to figure it out now. _

_Do they have Forth of July celebrations in New Orleans? I tell you, Monty, sometimes I think you are in a different country. I know that is not true but you write about people who speak French and have different customs. And some of the food you tell me about is different. I still don't understand what etoufee is. Did I spell that right? Oh well, it doesn't matter. Cook doesn't make that kind of stuff for us to eat._

_August 16, 1851 People do strange things, don't they, Monty? Alan and Douglas and Howard and me went over to the swimming hole on Willow Creek today. Do you remember the place I mean? It's the wide place in the creek that is deep enough to jump from a rope swing or from the creek bank. When we got there three older boys were there._

_When there are just boys there we all get naked and jump in. The big boys were already in the water so we undressed and jumped in. The water was cold but the weather is so hot it felt good after the first shock of it. Us younger boys sort of stayed to ourselves, but one of the others was Howard's older brother Ben and one was Douglas' cousin so we sort of splashed around with them. You have to watch out for Douglas' cousin because he like to dunk you under and hold you down. It's scary if he does that. Douglas came up coffing water and he was scared. Howard's brother got after him for doing that. None of us want to drown._

_At one point the three older boys were standing on the bank seeing who could piss the farthest out over the water. They barely let us get out of the way as we swam upstream. Who wants to get covered with that? The four of us younger boys watched to see who pissed farthest. It turned out to be Ben._

_What I found interesting was how different the bigger boys looked in their private parts than me and my friends. We are not like them yet. Of course mine are not as small as they used to be, but I haven't really changed like the big boys. I know I will. Give me a couple more years and I bet I can beat Ben._

_What they did next really showed how different we all are. They worked their pissers up to their biggest. The three of them were not the same. Ben must have had a good inch more. Anyway, the three of them kept it up until they each shot a stream of white stuff out into the water. It didn't go near as far as the piss, but I was impressed. _

_None of us have that yet, but I guess we will soon. Do you, Monty? You haven't mentioned it. I know it is the stuff that has the seeds to make babies. Alan's father told him that and so did his bigger brothers. We have talked about it among ourselves. Alan's father even told him how a man puts it inside a woman so she can grow a baby. It all sounds very weird to me. I have seen the rooster jump on the hens and the big tom cat get the mother cat to make kittens, but I just can't picture a man and a women. I shudder to think my parents made me and Stefan that way. But I guess they did._

_A few minutes after that contest we all heard the sound of girls chatting and laughing. They were coming along the foot path. Everyone real quick grabbed up their clothes and we pulled on our drawers and pants. We didn't get our shirts on before the girls came along. There were four of them. We knew them from school and besides one of them was Ben and Howard's sister Isabel. She is older than Howard, but I think she is younger than Ben. And very pretty._

_Anyway, the girls greeted us boys and looked us over sort of shyly because we didn't have our shirts on. One of the girls kept giggling. Then they excused themselves and walked on. The older boys made some comments but not really rude because Isabel was a sister. No one dared to get undressed again because we didn't know when the girls would come back. When the older boys decided to leave, me and my three friends stayed. We just sat on the creek bank where we could keep our feet in the water and we talked._

_We talked about the pissing contest and the other thing of course. We wondered if the big boys had done that just to try to outdo each other or if they were trying to impress us younger boys. Maybe it was both._

_This evening Mama had us all singing at the piano. Even Father. They know how to harmonize. Much as I usually don't like my father, I like him when he makes Mama laugh. I love to hear her laugh. I love to hear her sing too. She makes me and Stefan sing right along with her. She says I have a good voice. I tell you, Monty, little Stefan has a good voice too. He can carry a tune, as they say._

_Something else that makes Mama laugh if tickling me. She has always done that. She knows just where my most ticklish spots are. I end up rolling around on the floor and laughing so hard I have tears running down my face. But Mama does not go too far with it. She stops before it becomes real torture._

_She tickles Stefan too. He has the cutest laugh and he giggles like a little girl. I sometime get him and tickle him. He likes it as long as I don't carry it too far. He tries to tickle me, but I can get away from him real easy. I hate to admit it, Monty, but I sort of enjoy my little brother more. He's not such a baby. One day your little brothers will be like that and they will be more fun._

_September 8, 1851 Well, it's back to school. I like my teacher this year. Her name is Miss Moran. She in new at teaching. And she is pretty. So far everyone likes her but I overheard one of the men teachers saying he wondered if she really could control a class of eleven and twelve year old students. So far I think she can. I wonder how long it takes a teacher to grow stern. She has such a good sense of humor and sometimes made us laugh. Of course this was only the first day._

_September 20, 1851 I got your new letter, Monty. So you are in school again too and you don't like your teacher. That's too bad. So far our new teacher has been nice and I like the way she teaches. I think Alan is sort of smitten with her and he is not the only boy. She wears some scent and it is so nice. I like to be near her or smell the scent when she walks by my desk. If we have questions about something, sometimes she will come to stand right by our desks. I asked a question yesterday about a word in my book and she came and leaned close to look at it. I wonder how long it will take for her to realize some of us are doing that on purpose._

_I had Stefan on his pony today. We were in the small riding pen and Stefan can't get away from me. He is getting to be quite a little rider. I tell you Monty, he is fearless. He gets the pony running around in the pen really fast. If the pony stops suddenly and pitches Stefan off, he gets right up and climbs on again. We are a little afraid to have him ride out alone. There's no telling where he might be when he comes off. There's always a chance he could get hurt. Silas knows not to let him out of the barn on the pony alone. He could go out by the creek and get thrown in. He can swim a little but who knows what might happen even if he didn't fall in the creek. He could fall off the pony onto a rock or something._

_The only thing Stefan seems to be afraid of is the rooster that struts around with the hens. That bird can be mean sometimes. It has chased Stefan several times and it has pecked him on the leg. It also scratched his leg with one of its spurs. The bird has chased me a few times. The last time I kicked it away and it came right back at me. I told Father we should ring its neck and let Cook make a meal of it. We might do that because Cook doesn't like the bird either. I think the plan is to raise one of the young cockerels to replace the mean older one._

_I tell you Monty, Father still prefers Stefan over me, but I know it's not Stefan's fault. It's just the way Father feels and I don't understand what I did to make him dislike me most of the time. Mama tells me not to worry about it, that it's just that Father worries about a lot of farm stuff and takes it out on me. _

_That does not make sense to me. I know it's really me. I made some facetious comment the other day and he slapped me hard on my face and knocked me down. I had a little cut on my lip but it wasn't much. He told me not to use that sarcastic tone with him or I would be sorry. I suspect he means he would whip me just for my attitude and words. I have to remember to speak to him with respect. False respect, I tell you._

A/N That's it for today. It occurs to me that Damon's letters to Monty are really long since he adds to them. We have to assume that shorter letters are sent more frequently and I am skipping over them. Anyway, I hope you like what I have written.


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12_

A/N Thank you all for reading and reviewing and following. I don't want Damon to really know there are supernatural beings out there. I want him to think they are just stories, myths. At least for a while.

_November 2, 1851 It was cold this morning. I was happy not to have to climb out of my nice warm bed early to get ready for school. Of course I finally had to get up. I really really needed to pass my water. I find that these days if I wait a long time I wake up with my pisser hard. Does yours do that, Monty. I'd ask Father about it, but he has had another bout of gout and he's in a bad mood these days. I think I'll just ask Alan and see what he says. His father tells him things. Sometimes I wish I had an older brother, but its me that is the older. I suppose some day I'll be telling Stefan about things like this._

_Father is also in a bad mood about the men running the country. I don't know much about it. President Fillmore seems fine to me. I know he took over when died. I guess you know that, Monty. Father says we are Democrats and he wants a president who is a Democrat. Mama doesn't say much about any of it. She just listens to Father. Women can't vote anyway so what she thinks doesn't count._

_November 23, 1851 Yesterday was Stefan's fourth birthday. He is getting bigger and he is smart. And funny. He does the silliest things sometimes. He makes me laugh. He makes Mama laugh too. Believe it or not, he makes Father laugh sometimes. Nothing I do ever makes Father laugh. If I do something silly he just yells at me._

_We had a nice big dinner for Thanksgiving with the Gilberts. Everyone is always in a good mood for those meals. Mr. Gilbert is Father's best friend and the man tells jokes that make Father laugh. Sometimes I have no idea what is so funny. Lindsey seems to see it and he laughs, but I don't think Roland does. He laughs, but I can tell he has no idea what is so funny. Do you remember him? He's younger than us. I know that Mama and Mrs. Gilbert sometimes blush a little and hide their smiles, so I know they understand. I guess when I'm older I'll understand grown-ups jokes._

_After dinner I was in Mr. Gilberts library with Roland. We were looking at the odd things on one of the shelves. Roland said the wooden stakes are for killing vampires. I asked if he believed that the vampires were real and he grinned at me and said yes. He said they came out at night and sucked blood from people. He bared his teeth at me. I was sure he was trying to scare me. I know his father writes scary stories about such creatures. I told Roland he shouldn't believe such things. He laughed and said one night I'd be sorry when a vampire got me. I hope he never tells little Stefan that tale._

_I know the Gilberts still miss Alexandra. Do you remember I told you she died almost two years ago now. I suppose the family feels her missing every time they sit down to a meal and her place is empty. I surely notice it any time I eat at their house._

_January 4, 1852 I have to tell you, Monty, something strange happened this evening. I am really confused because I know part of it happened, but I think I imagined part of it. I'll try to explain._

_It was after supper and it was already past sunset. There was still a glow in the sky so it was not dark. In addition a nearly full moon had risen. I went out because Haverty was roaming around. In the winter like this he is allowed to sleep in the mud room next to the kitchen where it is warmer. But tonight he wouldn't come in when I called him._

_There is no snow on the ground but it is cold. I dressed warmly and went out, calling to him. I heard him barking way down by Willow Creek. It was quite a way to go on foot, but since I could see well, I ran down the lane behind the barn and headed for the creek. It took me a few minutes but I got to the foot path along the creek._

_I stopped to listen for Haverty's baying because he had stopped. I called and whistled for him and finally he came to me. He looked nervous, with his tail between his legs. That was not a good sign. Was there a bear around? I know a bear lives somewhere in the area. It made me nervous too even though I know bears are supposed to be sleeping in their dens this time of year. I took hold of Haverty's collar because I didn't want him to run home without me. I somehow felt safer with him right there._

_I was about to turn for home when I saw someone walking toward me along the path. It was a man. I couldn't see much of him because he was wearing a fur cap and a heavy fur coat against the cold weather. I was afraid because someone had been attacked a few nights ago and was beaten up. There had been cuts on the man's neck like an animal had bitten him after he was beaten and left on the ground. He had bled to death._

_What if this man I faced was the one who had attacked the man who had died? I wanted to run but I somehow couldn't. I just held onto Haverty's collar and stared. My dog was growling and whining. The hair on his neck and back were standing up. I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up too._

_The man came really close. I thought I was going to piss my pants when I saw his eyes glowing. I swear they were glowing, but I'm not sure. I think I imagined it. Anyway, he sort of snarled at me. I thought I saw that he had sharp teeth like a dog or a bear as he sort of sneered at me. Of course I couldn't really see too well in the dark. I'm sure it was my imagination._

_He came closer so that I had to look up at him. I was shaking like a leaf._

"_Go home, child," he said in an odd voice. "I don't hurt children. I am not really here. You know that don't you? You are just afraid you might meet a bad man out here at night. I am just in your imagination. Aren't I, child. Tell me."_

"_You're just in my imagination," I said. He was staring so intently into my eyes that I felt funny. Odd. How could I imagine that?_

"_Turn around and lead your dog home," he said. And suddenly he was not there._

_I tell you Monty, I hurried home as fast as I could holding onto Haverty. I looked back several times and no one was there. I got to the back door and ran inside with my dog. I let go of him and stood there shaking._

_Cook saw me and asked what happened. I told her I found Haverty down by the creek and I got spooked. I imagined seeing someone but no one was there. I forgot to tell her that Haverty was scared of something. Did he imagine a bear or something? The whole thing was scary. I don't think I will ever go down by the creek again at night. If it was all my imagination, I have a scary imagination._

_I must admit that I went to Father and told him. He listened to me and frowned at me. I guess he thought I was foolish to be scared of imaginary things in the dark. He said I was not to go out like that because of the man who had been attacked. He also said it might have been a real bear and I was lucky it didn't attack me. He made me promise I wouldn't go out there alone in the dark. I certainly did promise. _

_I know I won't sleep tonight, Monty. I've never been afraid of the dark but I think I will leave my lamp on tonight turned down low like Sophie sometimes did for me when I was little._

_January 5, 1852 Last night was awful. I did fall asleep after a while. And then I dreamed about meeting a bear on the path. It was standing up on its back feet and walking toward me. Its eyes were glowing and I could see its teeth and long claws. It reached for me and whispered my name. I was terrified. Then something touched my arm and I woke up with a scream. _

_I was sure the bear had my sleeve. And the bear screamed too. I sat bolt upright and fell out of bed on the other side. I looked around and there was Stefan. I had scared him and he was frightened. He ran out of the room and ran into Sophie in the hall. She picked him up and hugged him and she came into the room and looked at me as I stood up. I was still shaking but I was embarrassed as I realize I had been dreaming. I had probably made some noises and Stefan had come to see what was wrong. My scream had really frightened him._

_Mama and Father both showed up at my door and asked what was going on. I admitted that I had had a terrible dream and I jumped out of bed when Stefan touched me. Father scowled at me and then left. Mama came to me and put her arms around me. I know she could feel me shaking._

"_I'm all right now, Mama," I said trying to make her feel better while she was trying to make me feel better. I guess for the moment we were both scared._

_When Mama let me go I went to where Sophie stood holding Stefan in her arms. I told him I was sorry I scared him. I told him I just had a bad dream and I woke up suddenly. He calmed down and Sophie took him to his own bed and stayed with him a while. I could see the lamp lit in his room too._

_Mama stayed with me for a few minutes talking to me. My lamp was still burning low and Mama didn't suggest turning it out. She knew I needed that light. Even after Mama left to go back to bed I lay awake for quite a while. I guess sleepiness finally took over and I fell asleep. _

_I didn't wake up until Sophie woke me in the morning which was this morning. As you can imagine, Monty, I was tired and didn't want to get up but it was a school day and I had to._

_ Of course I told Alan when I saw him at school. I told him I thought it was a man but now I am sure it was a bear. Alan was amazed that I got that close to a bear. I had to admit to myself that maybe it was all my imagination simply because I feared meeting a bear. I didn't tell Alan that. It was more fun to amaze him with my bear story. I even told several other kids that and they all thought I was really brave. By the time I had told the story several times, it seemed more like an adventure._

_ When I got home from school I found that Stefan was in a cheerful mood. I was feeling quite cheerful myself and I started playing with him, tickling him. I got him down on the living room floor and tickled his ribs and his neck. He was laughing and shrieking when he accidentally kicked the leg of one of the small tables. There was pretty little statue of a lady with a swan on the table. It fell and smashed._

_ Stefan jumped up and stared at it. He looked at me with big eyes and I could see he was scared. I put a finger to my lips to tell him to be quiet because I hoped Father would not come. I hoped he hadn't heard the thing smash and I could hide it. Father doesn't spend time in the living room. I whispered to Stefan to go upstairs quietly and not say anything. He nodded and left._

_ I did feel bad, Monty, because the lady statue was one of Mama's favorites. I was thinking what could I put on the table so no one would notice something was missing. I saw Sooner the maid heading across the hall toward me in the living room, but she stopped and looked at the front door. I heard Father's voice. He had not been in the library, he had been outside somewhere. _

_Then Father spotted me and walked into the room as I was picking up the pieces. He asked me what I was doing. I sort of cringed, but I told him I bumped into the table and the lady fell and broke. He glared at me and asked how I could bump into the table so carelessly. I told him I wasn't watching where I was going. I could see him getting angrier and angrier. He had that look in his eyes._

_He told me to go to the library. I knew I was in serious trouble. He was going to whip me. If he was going to hit me, he would have done it already. I tried apologizing again and again, but he grabbed my arm and hauled me across the hall to the library and he closed the door. He told me to drop my pants and I sort of begged him not to whip me._

_Well, Monty, he whipped my behind. He laid that riding crop on me twice. I could feel it cutting into my skin. I have to admit I am not too old to cry at that kind of pain. When he was done, he told me to go to my room, which is where I am now. Dear Sophie came with salve to slather on my wounds. She wiped off blood first and I had to stand there barebottom while she took care of me._

_I saw Stefan standing by my open door. He was crying softly as he watched. I am so afraid one of these days Father will whip him instead of me. I don't think I could stand that, Monty. I think I would try to kill Father if he did that._

_By the way, Mama was not home. I didn't know that when I got home, but I surely did when Father whipped me. I hate that man!_

A/N Another day of good and bad for Damon. Comments?


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 13_

A/N Sorry I am a little late with this chapter. With three stories on-going it takes longer to do them. Thanks again to you all for reading, etc. Hope you like this chapter.

_ I know this is a long letter, Monty, but I have to tell you what else happened._

_ When Mama got home Father told her that I had broken the little lady and that he had punished me for it. She came upstairs to my room to see me. I was lying on my bed on my belly and I just had my drawers on, but I had my sheet and blanket over me because my room was cold. Mama asked to see my bottom because she wanted to see if Father had spanked me or whipped me. I was embarrass to let her see but she insisted. I just lay there while she pulled down the covers and the back of my drawers. Then she pulled them back up._

_ I got tears in my eyes when I saw the tears in her eyes. I told her I was sorry about the little lady and she said it was an accident and it was all right. I almost told her Stefan did it and I was protecting Stefan, but I didn't say it. I was afraid she might tell Father he whipped me for nothing. I don't know if Father would have punished Stefan then._

_ I didn't get any supper. Not at the table anyway. Mama brought me some food herself later. She didn't ask Sophie to do it so that if Father found out, he wouldn't punish Sophie. Father never hits Mama even if they argue about something._

_January 6, 1852 I tell you Monty, I surely hated to get up this morning to go to school. I was really sore, but Father told me I was going or else. He insisted I sit at the table and eat breakfast. My bottom hurt sitting there but I was hungry and I wanted that food. Then he wouldn't let Silas drive me to school even though it was snowing quite a bit and it hurt to walk._

_At school I told Alan what happened but I didn't say that Stefan broke the lady. I could tell Alan felt sorry for me. He's a good friend. Except for you, he's my best friend. I wish the three of us were together again._

_When I got home this afternoon, little Stefan whispered to me that he told Mama he broke the lady. He said he couldn't keep it a secret from her. Actually, Stefan is not always good about keeping secrets. He forgets and blabs it out. It's not in his nature to keep secrets or to lie. One secret he has kept is what he ever did with the little toy soldiers he hid from me._

_January 16, 1852 Hello, Monty, I got your letter today. It's always fun to get one of your letters. I'm glad you found my last letter interesting and scary. That is, if you want to call me getting a whipping interesting. I know you mean the part about the bear. I don't have nightmares about that anymore and I am glad._

_I have to admit that I don't go down by the creek at night. Actually, I rarely did before anyway. It was just that Haverty was down there carrying on something fierce. I should have known better._

_Do you remember the Fister family? Jacob is a year ahead of us. Anyway, his older brother went to California looking for gold. The family got a letter from someone to tell them that the brother was dead. It seems he was murdered for his claim. Father says a claim is the small piece of land and river bank where the person has a legal right to dig for gold. Father says they need the water to find the gold in the dirt because they wash the dirt away and the gold is heavy and doesn't wash away. Father says the miners are always in danger of someone trying to steal their claims, especially if there is quite a bit of gold in it. Or sometimes its just the bags of gold that get stolen. To me, all that does not sound like a good way to make money._

_January 20, 1852 Another man was murdered last night. His body was found this morning on the north side of town. It looked like an animal had attacked his neck, Father said. No one saw it happening so no one tried to help the man. Father says he didn't know the fellow. I'm surprised because Father is really upset about that. I know he went over to talk to Mr. Gilbert about it. Surely it was not a bear. In this cold weather the bears are hibernating in dens. And no one has seen or heard a big cat from the mountains. I heard one once. What an awful scream they make! I wonder if it is a wolf that killed the man even though there aren't supposed to be wolves around here._

_Father has told us not to go out at night and Mama agrees. Father told Joshua to stand at the back door to let Haverty go out to piss before bringing him into the mud room tonight. Joshua had the dog on a rope so he couldn't get away. I know Haverty would go out exploring if we let him._

_January 21, 1852 I found out this morning that Father had Joshua tie Haverty to his dog house near the back door. He said the dog would alert us if something came prowling around the yard. I didn't like that. It was cold out there last night. I did find that Mama had put an old blanket in there for Haverty to sleep on. I bet he still shivered and whined to come in half the night. If he did, I didn't hear him. He seemed really happy to come inside this morning._

_Stefan came running into the dining room and tripped and fell. He cut his lip and started crying. Of course we all had to go to him to see if he was all right. He had blood running down his chin and onto his shirt. It was not much. Mama wiped at the cut and saw that it was really small. He stopped crying when Sooner brought a cloth wet with icy cold water and Mama held it to his lip._

_I turned around just in time to see Haverty helping himself to my breakfast. He had jumped up on my chair and was gulping down my grits and eggs and sausage. I yelled at him and he jumped down, but he still managed to grab one of my biscuits. He ran from the dining room and into the kitchen. Cook pushed him out the back door. I had to wait for her to bring me a new plate of breakfast. I tell you Monty, dogs are like little kids, you got to watch them all the time. _

_February 20, 1852 I got home from school and found a new letter from you. You said you had sad news and fun news. _

_The sad news came first. I'm sorry one of your little brothers got really sick and died. That must be very hard for your family. I wonder if the other little brother, his twin, knows his brother is gone._

_You wrote that he is buried in a place where someone else had been buried years ago and it isn't even down in the ground. That sounds really strange to me. What about the other person? I understand that they are gone to heaven, but what about their body and bones and all?_

_I had to ask Father about all this because you didn't explain. If you told me before, I have forgotten. He told me that New Orleans is in a low-lying area with lots of ground water. People are buried in stone burial plots that are above the ground. He said there isn't a lot of land for cemeteries like we have, so the burial plots are used over and over when the wooden casket and body have fallen apart. Is that what happened? Is that why the baby is buried where someone else used to be?_

_Now about the thing you did that was fun. You said you and your family got to ride in a carriage in a Mardi Gras parade. It was at night and it was lighted by torches or something called flambos. You told me once that Mardi Gras is before ash Wednesday and Lent, which is more than a month before Easter. I know Easter will be in April._

_I asked Mama about ash Wednesday and she told me to ask Father. He told me what it meant, but I am a little confused. I tell you Monty, I am a little short on my religious education. Mama still reads part of the Bible to me and Stefan. I can read it myself except it reads strangely. Stefan just finds it funny that Jesus was born in a stable. Mama doesn't read him the part about the crucifixion. She says he is too young for that. I don't care for that part either._

_Anyway, I'm glad you had fun riding in a carriage at night in a parade. I guess you and your parents enjoyed it more because it was before your baby brother took sick and died. I've never been in a parade. _

_You know our little town of Mystic Falls has a Fourth of July parade with the mayor in an open carriage and a couple of businesses have decorated wagons. Also the fire brigade's water pumper wagon. The school band marches and so do the war veterans from wars like the Revolution and the 1812 war. The men from the Revolution are ancient. And of course we have some fireworks and a bonfire and picnics. But it must be something to see a big parade at night._

_February 28, 1852 Last night I dreamed about the bear I think I saw along Willow Creek! It was scary and I woke up with my heart pounding. Monty, I swear that bear talked to me. I swear it told me it was just my imagination, but I don't think so. I got a good look at it in the dream. It was a man with a bearskin coat and a fur hat. I know it was!_

_But he also had red eyes and teeth like a bear. I have thought about it a lot and I really think he was a vampire. I've heard about some of the stories Mr. Gilbert has written about vampires. Everyone knows he writes stories about strange monsters and evil beings. I think he knows vampires are real. I think maybe Father does too. I want to ask Mama, but I just know in my heart that she would tell me there are no such things. It would upset her if I asked, if she thought I believed._

_If I am right, what happened to the monster? Did it leave the area and go somewhere else or did someone kill it? Him. I don't know what to call it. Or maybe it is hiding. I never would have seen it in the first place if Haverty hadn't run down by the creek and given the alarm. _

_If the creature is still here, what is it feeding on? Vampires are supposed to drink blood. I suppose they can feed on animals like deer. Maybe they even steal some blood from our horses or cows. Maybe they can be neat about feeding and not maul or kill the animal. Or a person. Anyway, Monty, I think it was real._

_I went over to the Gilbert house this afternoon. It was Roland's birthday, the boy who was born on February 29, which only comes along every four years. He just turned nine years old, or he would tomorrow if it was the 29__th__. Alan and some others were there and several of Roland's close friends. His older brother Lindsey and his younger sister Amy were there. So was little Billy, but I didn't take Stefan along. Us older kids don't really want little ones like Stefan, Billy and Amy underfoot._

_Amy's a nice little girl but she can't read. She doesn't seem stupid, but she can't read or write the alphabet. Of course she is only six, but she ought to be able to a little. Even Stefan knows some of his letters and numbers. He can count to ten but he doesn't say all the numbers right. He will proudly say one, two, free, four, fife, sex, seben, eight, nine and ten. He counts his fingers and his toes. It's sort of cute._

_I think tomorrow I will go down by Willow Creek by myself. I will ride my pony Lightning. If I see the bear man vampire I know Lightning will run fast enough to get me away. If vampires only come out at night, I shouldn't see one at all. I have just been afraid to go alone. The only time I have been back there was with Alan and Douglas. They wanted to know where I saw the bear and I showed them. Did I tell you this already? I sometimes forget what I write to you._

_Anyway Monty, I will write more tomorrow and let you know if I see anything down by the creek._

A/N That's it for now. Will Damon see anything down by the creek? I don't know yet.


	14. Chapter 14

_Chapter 14_

"_Catamount"_

_March 1, 1852 Well, Monty, today was a horrible day. Just terrible. I'll start at the beginning I guess. Today is Sunday so there was no school. As I planned, I took Lightning and rode down the lane to Willow Creek. I turned left and rode along the path beside the creek. Some of the trees and bushes are putting out leaf buds. I guess in New Orleans the trees don't drop all their leaves like around here._

_I kept an eye peeled for anything that might be a bear or a man wearing a bearskin coat. I watched Lightning's ears. You know how alert horses can be to things. He flicked his ears a lot but didn't seem afraid of anything._

_We had gone along the path for maybe five minutes when Lightning stopped short and threw up his head. Something was ahead of us. I spoke to him to calm him a bit, but I was suddenly scared and I'm sure he sensed it. I looked ahead and I could not see anything. What was he looking at or hearing or smelling? He snorted and pranced around._

_I didn't wait for him to bolt. I turned him around and rode back the way I had come. I let him trot, but not run. I kept turning around in the saddle to look back, but I still didn't see anything. When I came to the lane to the barn, I stopped and stared back along the path. There was nothing there._

_As I got near the back door of the barn I happened to look south across the cow pasture. The two milk cows were near the door to their shed, but I saw something moving along the fence. I stopped and stared. Being on Lightning I could easily see over the split-rail fences. I know my heart skipped a beat when I saw what it was. It was a catamount, a real mountain lion! I've seen a stuffed one. I knew that was what it was._

_I kicked Lightning into a gallop. I didn't stop at the barn. I headed right for the back door of the house screaming for Father. He needed to get his gun and shoot at that big cat. I guess Silas could have chased it with a pitchfork, but I thought a gun would be best. At the door I jumped down from Lightning and ran inside._

_Father had heard me yelling and he came to the kitchen, asking what was wrong. _

_I yelled, "There's a catamount in the cow pasture! It's stalking the cows!" _

_Father turned back to get his musket from the library while Cook grabbed a broom and headed out the door. Haverty who had been resting by the door, dashed outside. I don't know if he smelled the cat, but he headed right for the cow pasture. Of course I yelled at him to come back._

_In no time Father and Cook and I were running after the dog to the cow shed and the field beyond. The cows had smelled the cat or seen it because they were nervous and making a racket. Haverty was streaking across the pasture, baying like a crazy dog. I know he was determined to tree that cat or catch it._

_I was really scared for him because the catamount was bigger that him. I ran beside Father who is fast when his foot isn't swollen. We got over the fence and into the pasture about the time Haverty caught up with the cat. Such a noise you would not believe, Monty! The dog bayed and snarled and yelped while the cat yowled and screamed. Then Haverty yelped like he was hurt bad and he fell to the ground. The cat jumped away and Father shot at it. I didn't know if he hit it because all I could think of was that Haverty was hurt._

_I ran to where he was lying on the ground. He was whining and whimpering. There was a lot of blood and I could see deep claw marks all along one side of him. I could even see the white of a rib bone. I knelt down and tried to calm him. I was shaking, I tell you. I wanted to pick him up and carry him home to try to fix his wounds._

_Father had not followed the cat that had run off toward the woods. Instead, he reloaded his gun and came to look at Haverty. He told me to move away so he could put the dog out of its misery._

"_No!" I yelled at him. He was going to kill my dog without even looking at the wounds real good!_

"_He's hurt too bad," Father said, pulling on my shoulder._

_I shook him off and bent over Haverty. The dog licked my hand and I know he wanted me to help him._

"_I can fix him, Father," I said. "I'll get him all bandaged and he'll get better. I'll take care of him."_

"_Get away from him right now," Father yelled and he hauled me away and threw me down behind him. "You can't fix that."_

_Before I could move, Father shot and killed Haverty._

_I screamed at Father. I was so angry I felt sick. I scrambled over to my dog and gathered him up in my arms. He was bloody and heavy, but I carried him toward the house. I was crying so hard I almost fell. I had to stop at the fence, but Joshua was there and he opened the gate for me._

_Father would not let me take Haverty into the house. Mama and Cook and the others were there by the back door and they could see that Haverty was dead. Father made me put him down by his dog house. I sat there with him on my lap and ignored Father when he ordered me into the house. He grabbed the collar of my jacket and yanked me to my feet so fast that I dropped Haverty._

_I screamed at Father. I don't know what I said, but I hated him and I think I said things that I should not have. He slapped my face so hard I fell back right on top of my dead dog. He grabbed the front of my jacket and hauled me to me feet again. I know I kicked his shin and punched him in the belly._

_He dragged me inside the house and into the study. I figured he was going to whip me and I didn't care, I was that furious. He didn't. Mama followed us and she yelled at Father and told him not to do it, to just send me to my room. I ran out of there and knocked Stefan down out in the hall. Stefan was crying even before I knocked him down. Either he saw Haverty or he saw the blood on me or maybe because Mother and I were crying. I don't know._

_In my room I flopped on the bed. I forgot I was all bloody. Mama came to my room and she closed the door so Stefan couldn't get in. I told her Father killed Haverty on purpose because he hates me. I told her I hated him too. Mama tried to make me feel better, but it didn't help. I was stomping around my room and yelling and sobbing. She left me alone after a bit._

_I finally realized I was a bloody mess and so was the quilt on my bed. It was nearly ruined. I know the quilt is full of cotton and it will ball up when it is washed. Well, it was too late now._

_All I could think was that I wanted to get away from my father and the house. I changed my clothes and I put water from the pitcher into the basin and washed some of the blood from my arms and hands. Then I went out into the hall. Sophie was there and she went into my room, I guess to clean up the mess I left. Stefan wasn't there. I could hear Mama talking to him in his room, but the door was closed. I didn't know where Father was._

_I went downstairs and out the front door. I admit I gave no thought to where the big cat might be as I ran out to the road. I suppose that was foolish. All I could think of was that I wanted to go to the Lockwood house and see Alan and tell him what had happened. Monty, you probably remember that the Lockwoods live between us and town so I was headed that way._

_I was barely down the road when I heard it. The catamount. It was behind me but close. I turned around and saw it crossing the road from our side to the other. There was a bloody streak running down its side. I figured Father's shot must had grazed its shoulder. The cat was limping so one of its legs was not working right._

_I was scared then. It might be wounded but it was still moving right along. A wounded animal can be very dangerous. I wondered if it had seen me in the road. I started to run as fast as I could. The Gilbert place was right by me so I dashed for their porch yelling. They needed to know the big cat was close by. They have young Amy and Billy. The children could be playing in their back yard._

_Mr. Gilbert came to the door when I yelled and pounded on the door. I told him what I had seen and he ran back inside the house, yelling to his family. I didn't know what to do for a moment. I didn't want to run down the road alone again to get to the Lockwood place. I felt safer with the Gilberts. _

_Mr. Gilbert had left the front door open so I walked in and closed the door. That felt safer still. I could hear Mrs. Gilbert calling her children inside. I glimpsed Mr. Gilbert with a gun heading out the back door. Even their oldest boy Lindsey had a gun in hand and headed out back._

_I stood there in the hall and realized I was shaking. I had been shaking before because of Father and Haverty, but now I was shaking because I knew the big cat was prowling around close by and injured. I was not about to go back out to the road and head for the Lockwood place. I was standing there when Mrs. Gilbert spotted me. She came to me and put her arms around me._

"_Are you all right, Damon?" she asked. "Are you hurt? You have blood on your face."_

_I realized that I still had blood on my hands and I must even have it on my face. Haverty's blood. I suddenly had tears in my eyes. I told her what happened to Haverty. I guess I got really upset again about what happened. She listened to me and hugged me again. She sort of eased me to the kitchen and got a wet cloth and wiped the blood from my face and had me wash my hands in the wash bowl._

_I saw that Amy and Billy were standing near the door watching me. I felt embarrassed to be carrying on like a little kid. At least Roland was not there. He is a smart-alecky kid. _

_We all jumped when there was a couple of gun shots and the scream of that cat. Mrs. Gilbert opened the back door and looked out._

"_Did you kill it?" she yelled to her husband._

_I could hear him yell back from a distance away. "We got it. It's dead."_

_I was relieved. The big cat was dead. But so was Haverty. I told Mrs. Gilbert I was going to the Lockwood place to tell Alan what happened and she walked me to the front door. She thanked me for alerting her family. Her two youngest had been outside._

_She said I was a brave boy. Well, at least I had done something right. It made me feel better. I tell you, Monty, I needed that._

A/N I felt sort of bad about killing off Haverty, but I had written in one of my other stories that Damon told someone that his father had killed his dog, so I thought it had to be now.


	15. Chapter 15

_Chapter 15_

A/N This is a continuation of the 'Haverty and the mountain lion' episode. Damon does not want to go home. Thanks for reading and commenting, you all.

_ So, I went on down the road and got to the Lockwood house. Mr. Lockwood was standing in his front yard looking around. He saw me coming so I slowed my run and walked up to him._

_ "Hello, Damon," he said. "Did you hear the gunshots?"_

_ Around here it isn't too unusual to hear a gunshot, as you probably remember, Monty. People shoot at varmints or kill an animal that it seriously injured and suffering. Like Father said about Haverty, which I don't believe. I know he was hurt and suffering, but he would have healed. Anyway Mr. Lockwood was not real upset about hearing the gunshots. Not until I told him what happened._

_ "It was a catamount," I said. "It tried to get to our milk cows and my dog attacked it. It hurt my dog real bad and then my father shot him." I had tears in my eyes again._

_ "He shot the lion?" he asked._

_ "No, he shot my dog." _

"_I'm sorry to hear that," Mr. Lockwood said. "Where did the cat go?" He looked worried._

_ "Over by the Gilbert house. Mr. Gilbert shot it," I explained. "I just came from there. Is Alan home? I wanted to tell him about my dog."_

_ He told me to go into the house and that Alan was reading in his room. I went up there. I tell you Monty, I think our house is big, but their house is bigger. Alan's room is definitely bigger than mine. I spent quite a bit of time there, telling Alan about what happened. I was still really upset about Haverty. I told Alan I hated my father and wanted to run away, but I didn't know where to go. Alan said I could stay with them. I liked the idea and wondered if I could._

_ I didn't want to worry Mama. She didn't know where I was, but I didn't want to go home. Well, Monty, it turned out that Mr. Lockwood rode over to the Gilbert house and by then Father was there. So Father found out where I was. It was a while before he showed up at the Lockwoods' house. He came looking for me. He even come up to Alan's room along with Mr. Lockwood._

_ "It's time to go home now," he said._

_ "I don't want to go home!" I said. I think I was yelling at him. That wasn't very smart of me, I know. I would just make him angry. "You killed my dog!" I said._

_ "He was hurt too bad," Father insisted. "You couldn't fix that. Now, you come home before your mother gets really worried."_

_ In the end Father won the argument. I really didn't want to worry Mama. Father had his horse and he hauled me up behind him. I wasn't happy about that. I would have just walked home._

_ "Mr. Gilbert said you did a good thing warning them about the cat," Father said._

_ "I saw it going toward their house," I said to his back._

_ "Well, you did the right thing. By the way, I had Silas bury Haverty under that big tree. I know you loved the dog, but things like that happen. You have to accept it, Damon. It's part of life, part of growing up."_

_ I was still angry and sad but I didn't say anything. After we got home I went up to my room and I thought about what he had said. He had actually said I did the right thing. I tell you, Monty, It's been a long time since he told me that._

_ Stefan came to my room and asked me where I had gone. I told him. In fact, I told him about the big cat and how I saw it and I saved the Gilbert kids. It was a good story the way I told it and Stefan looked at me with his mouth open._

_ He asked me about Haverty. I told him Haverty died because he was a brave dog and he attacked the big bad catamount. I think Mama had already told him the same thing, but Stefan seemed to like the way I told him. Sometimes I feel like a hero the way he looks at me. I guess I didn't act like a hero after Father killed my dog. I just had a hard time with that._

_ After supper I went to where Haverty was buried and I put some wildflowers on his grave. I guess that was foolish. What does a dog care? It made me feel better and I told him he was a good dog and I would miss him. _

_While I was there, Stefan came along and asked what I was doing. I told him Silas had buried Haverty there. Stefan stared at the mound of dirt and then walked over to a patch of weeds and pulled one up. It had a small flower on it. He knelt down beside me and laid the weed next to the flowers I had put there. Then he patted the dirt and said "Good dog." It just brought more tears to my eyes. I reached out and gathered Stefan against me and gave him a hug._

_Stefan looked up at me and I know he could see my tears. He patted my arm and told me Mama had said Haverty had gone to doggie heaven to be with all the other good dogs. He told me not to worry about him because he was happy. It made me cry more, Monty. I leaned my face against the back of Stefan's shirt to keep him from looking at me like that._

_March 16, 1851 This morning I didn't feel like getting up. I am still sad about my dog. I tell you, Monty, I didn't spend a lot of time with him every day, but he was there when I wanted to play with him or take him walking in the woods. In fact, he was there sometimes when I didn't want him with me. Sort of like Stefan._

_I did get up, of course. Unless I am sick, I can't lie around in bed. I got dressed and I made my bed before Sophie came into the room. She put a clean quilt on my bed yesterday after I messed up the other one. This one has stripes on it. When I made the bed, I had to get the stripes straight. Who wants to have a bed quilt with crooked stripes?_

_Mama came by my room just as I was finishing and she smiled. She gave me a hug and said I did such a good job. She said I had an eye for perfection. I think she is right. I like neatness. I like nice things and I want them done right, whether they are made of cloth like clothing or made of wood like furniture. Maybe I am going to be rich some day and have expensive things like the Lockwoods._

_Don't get me wrong, Monty. We have nice things at our house. I heard Mrs. Gilbert tell Mama once that she had good taste. I know Mrs. Gilbert was talking about the new curtains in the parlor. She called them drapes. Anyway, I knew she was not talking about food. I think maybe I have good taste too._

_Stefan does not. He doesn't care if he gets his clothes dirty or ripped. He is happy in his messy room. He doesn't care if he has taken off his clothes and left them in a pile on the floor. If he spills food on his clothes, it is all right with him. Sophie spends a lot of time cleaning up after him. Of course, he is only four years old._

_At breakfast, I didn't want to talk to Father, but I asked him if he thought the dead catamount had a mate lurking around here. He said he didn't think so because the cat was a male and males tend to roam around hunting and looking for females cats. None had been spotted in our area for quite a while. That made me feel better._

_ So, tonight while I am writing this to you, I feel so sad and tears come to my eyes really easy. And then I feel angry with Father. Even if he believed Haverty was hurt too bad to recover, I still think he shot him just so I had no chance to help him heal. I don't think he would have been so quick to do that if it had been Stefan's dog or even his own. Why does my father hate me, Monty? I just can never figure it out._

_ March 16, 1851 This morning I didn't feel like getting up. I am still sad about my dog. I tell you, Monty, I didn't spend a lot of time with him every day, but he was there when I wanted to play with him or take him walking in the woods. In fact, he was there sometimes when I didn't want him with me. Sort of like Stefan._

_I did get up, of course. Unless I am sick, I can't lie around in bed. I got dressed and I made my bed before Sophie came into the room. She put a clean quilt on my bed yesterday after I messed up the other one. This one has stripes on it. When I made the bed, I had to get the stripes straight. Who wants to have a bed with crooked stripes?_

_Mama came by my room just as I was finishing and she smiled. She gave me a hug and said I did such a good job. She said I had an eye for perfection. I think she is right. I like neatness. I like nice things and I want them done right, whether they are made of cloth like clothing or made of wood like furniture. Maybe I am going to be rich some day and have expensive things like the Lockwoods._

_Don't get me wrong, Monty. We have nice things at our house. I heard Mrs. Gilbert tell Mama once that she had good taste. I know Mrs. Gilbert was talking about the new curtains in the parlor. She called them drapes. Anyway, I knew she was not talking about food. I think maybe I have good taste too._

_Stefan does not. He doesn't care if he gets his clothes dirty or ripped. He is happy in his messy room. He doesn't care if he has taken off his clothes and left them in a pile on the floor. If he spills something on his clothes, it is all right with him. Sophie spends a lot of time cleaning up after him. Of course, he is only four years old._

_At breakfast, I didn't want to talk to Father, but I asked him if he thought the dead catamount had a mate lurking around here. He said he didn't think so. The cat was a male and males tend to roam around hunting and looking for females cats. None had been spotted in our area for quite a while. That made me feel better._

_Not for the first time since yesterday Stefan wanted to know if he could go see the dead cat's body. He had never heard of such a thing and was fasinated by it. Father told him that he would take him to town and show him the stuffed one in the lawyer's office. That excited Stefan. I went with Father once to that office and that is where I saw the stuffed one. The eyes seemed to look right at me. Father said the eyes were made of glass, but I tell you Monty, they looked real._

_Stefan also asked if we would be getting another dog. Father said we might because it's good to have a watch dog. I suspect the dog will not be mine and I don't care. No dog can take Haverty's place._

A/N I hope you liked this chapter. I'll have to give more thought to some other things that can come into Damon's life. Sometimes my writer's muse has gone off somewhere. Any suggestion's welcome.


	16. Chapter 16

_Chapter 16_

_ I don't think you knew this when you were here, but there is another dog on our property. It is a bloodhound that belongs to the overseer Mr. Stubb. That is one ugly dog, in my opinion. It's voice is so much deeper than Haverty's is. Was. It hangs around with Mr. Stubb and he uses it to track any slave who tries to run away. The slaves don't like that dog at all. Can't imagine why._

_ March 17, 1852 I was looking back at what I wrote and saw that I put down the wrong year. I wrote 1851. I sometimes forget. Do you ever do that when a new year comes? Since I wrote it in ink instead of pencil, I can't erase it. I know you don't really care about that._

_ I guess I am getting over losing my dog. I had to tell my friends at school today what happened. At first I had trouble keeping the tears out of my eyes, but after I had told the story about Haverty several times and how brave he was to attack the catamount, I got used to the idea. Everyone says dogs only live for a few years, so you have to get used to losing them. I suppose that is so._

_ June 8, 1852 Hello, Monty. I got your last letter. You got a new puppy? That is wonderful. You said he is an Irish wolf hound. Is that like a fox hound? I never heard of that kind of dog. So what if he has big paws? Does that really mean he will be a big dog? Mr. Stubb's bloodhound is a big dog. At least he is bigger than Haverty was._

_ I know I still miss my Haverty. I was a bit afraid my parents would get me a new dog for my birthday, but they didn't. I didn't really want one. I'm twelve years old today. I feel like I am half way grownup. _

_It's funny but sometimes I feel like a little kid, especially when I am playing with my brother. He is just so much fun now that he is older. I love to sneak up on him and tickle him. He laughs and giggles. He tries to tickle me back, but I keep him away from my ticklish spots. Or he likes to climb on my back so I can pretend to be his horse._

_Father has been insisting he learn to saddle the pony. I think he is too young, but Father is stern about Stefan doing it right. It's a good thing the pony is short and patient. If Father tells Stefan he did a good job, the little fellow just beams with pride._

_I wonder why he is blond and I am not. My hair is dark brown and my eyes are blue. Of course my mother has blondish hair. I guess that is it. Not long ago I overheard my father say something to Mama like "the older he gets the more he looks like him." I think he was talking about me, but I'm not sure. I have no idea what he meant and I don't dare ask him because he sounded gruff when he said it. _

_If he meant me, is there something wrong with the way I look? Sometimes I stare at myself in the mirror and I don't know if I look good or ugly. One of the girls at school said I was so handsome I almost make her swoon. What kind of thing is that to say? I should be flattered, but I'm not sure if she was just making fun of me. Mama says I am handsome, but Monty, don't all mothers say that to their sons?_

_Speaking of girls, Martha Lacey kissed me today! I was in town with Alan and Douglas. We were just walking around looking in the store windows. Martha and another girl came walking toward us and they were giggling. You know how girls are. When they came up to us, we stepped aside like proper gentlemen and expected them to go on by, but Martha came right up to me, bold as brass, and grabbed my face between her hands. She kissed me right on the mouth! It was quick and then she and the other girl ran away. Alan and Douglas laughed and teased me. I tell you, Monty, I was so embarrassed. I know my face was red._

_On the other hand, Martha is kind of pretty. Do you remember her? Her teeth are not very straight, but her face is pretty and her chest is starting to develop. Her eyes are bluer than mine, I think. I wouldn't mind if she kissed me again, but I don't think I want it to be in the middle of town when I am with my friends. Do you know what I mean?_

_August 11, 1852 Monty, you would not believe what happened! A big storm came though this area with lots of wind and rain and lightning. There was a big twister wind that damaged several houses and barns around here. I was over at Albert Borrell's house with some other kids. We were all playing in their barn to be out of the rain and one of the boys looked out and saw the dark shape of the twister coming. We didn't know what to do, where to go. Anyway, we decided to go down to the lower level of the barn. I don't know if you remember, but their barn is built on a hillside, so there is a lower level. We figured that we would be safe there if the upper part of the barn was damaged, like if the roof blew off._

_The Borrell's have milk cows and they were all out in the pasture. None of them were in the barn. It's a good thing because the barn collapsed._

A/N I decided to write out more details about the barn incident because Damon did not go into it in his letter to Monty.

The five boys climbed down the ladder to the lower level. They were all afraid, but they tried not to show it by joking and laughing. Damon had seen a tornado before, but not up close and not one heading right for him. At the bottom of the ladder was a dirt floor. He kept close to the others, including his friend Alan, as the bunch argued over where to hide. There was little time because the tornado was about to hit. Big trees near the barn had hidden the danger until it was close and loud.

The boys ended up pressed against the back wall up against the hillside and behind some farm equipment. The sound of the wind was a roar that made all of them cringe and press against each other. They became silent except for James Borrell who was only nine years old and very frightened. He clung to his older brother and started to cry. It made Damon glad he didn't have Stefan with him.

However, Damon did wonder fearfully where the twister had been before reaching this point. Had it been to the Salvatore farm? Had anyone been hurt there? He cowered next to the others and prayed his own family was safe.

Then everything seemed to explode around the boys. The barn groaned and then there was a rending sound as the horrendous wind tore at the boards and beams and rafters. It was almost as dark as night down where the boys were and they cried out in terror as the floor above them began to come down. The wood splintered and cracked like gun shots and dirt fell.

The roar above was terrifying. Damon had never heard anything like it. He clung to Alan and he could feel the other boy's trembling. They were hunched down, almost kneeling on the dirt floor. Would the floor above come all the way down and crush them? Would the parents of all the boys come to try to find their bodies? Damon knew he didn't want to die like this, but he had no say in it if it was his time. How awful his parents would feel. Little Stefan would try to understand why his big brother was gone and never coming back. Tears rolled down Damon face and a sob escaped.

Then the awful roar moved away a bit and lessened. The barn continued to creak and groan. Dirt and water now came down on the huddled boys, but they realized they were still alive. The wood of the collapsed floor was inches above the heads of the biggest of the boys, but it was hard to see because the floor had come down even farther over near the outside door. In fact, it was resting against the ground for the most part.

Damon realized that he and the others were caught in a sort of lean-to. The wagons and other things stored in the lower level supported the floor enough to keep it from coming down far enough to crush the youths. He felt around in the very dim light and realized just how lucky they were, providing the floor didn't settle more.

"Is anyone hurt?" Alan asked in a timid voice.

"I think Eddie is," someone said. "I think a board hit his head."

"Is he awake?" Alan asked. He was the oldest of the group by a few months.

"No, but I think he is breathing."

Damon knew Eddie was on the outside edge of the group. A board from the above floor could have come down on him.

"Anyone else?" Alan asked.

Each person managed to say they were unhurt, except Eddie. Each boy valiantly tried to stifle any sobs or tears. They were still alive and unhurt. Someone would come to help them. They just had to wait it out.

"I wet my pants," someone said.

"I messed mine," someone else admitted.

Damon felt a small amount of pride in knowing he had done neither. He did feel nauseated, though, and he fought not to vomit. The aroma of soiled pants didn't help. The pounding of his heart slowly eased, but he was trembling. He sat down on the dirt to get more comfortable and he felt Alan do the same. How long would they have to wait to be rescued?

A/N Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter posted. I couldn't think of anything. I hope you like what I came up with.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

A/N This story continues for now as a narrative, not as part of a letter Damon wrote. This way I can show in more detail what happened to the boys.

It was dark where they sat in the wrecked barn, although a bit of light came in under the edge of the fallen floor. Damon's eye adjusted more to the dimness and he could see the other boys huddled together against the wall. Albert Borrell, who lived on the farm, began to cry more.

"We're all right, Al," Alan said to the boy next to him, although he hadn't really looked at each of them in the dim, cramped space.

"What about my Ma and Pa? And my little brother? What if the house was ruined? What about our cows?" the boy sobbed.

"You have to believe they are all right," Alan said soothingly. "None of us knows what damage was done to anyone's house. We'll have to wait and see."

This didn't exactly reassure Damon.

"Eddie is bleeding," one of the boys said. "I think he got knocked out cold."

Damon tried to see the injured boy, but they were separated by the boys between them and he didn't want to move. He sat like the others and waited. No one said anything for a while.

"No one is coming," he finally said.

"Someone _has_ to come looking for us," Alan said. "Someone has to come check

all the damage that twister left behind." His tone didn't sound entirely sure that would happen any time soon.

"Everyone might be at some other house. I think we should dig our way out," Damon said. "The floor here is dirt. We can dig under where the beams came down and get out."

"Dig with what? I didn't see any shovels down here," one of the other boys said.

"With broken pieces of boards," Damon said. "There are plenty of those."

The boys decided digging was better than doing nothing, so each found a piece of wood and they crawled as far toward the outside as they could and began moving dirt from one area. Damon and Alan directed the project so that no one was wasting time digging somewhere else. It took some time, but finally they had a small opening that let in quite a bit of light.

"The sun has come out," one of the boys said. It lifted everyone's spirits. They dug with more energy and soon they had a hole big enough for Al to squeeze out through. He was the smallest of the group.

"It looks awful out here! I don't see our house! Where did our house go?" He started to cry. Screaming for his mother and father, he ran away from the barn.

"Keep digging, fellows," Damon urged. Actually, three were digging and the others were moving the dug dirt out of the way.

A few minutes later, the hole was big enough for each of the boys to crawl through. They pulled the unconscious boy out by his feet. Then they saw that he had a wound on his scalp and forehead which was bleeding a lot so that his face was covered with blood. None of the boys commented on it. They were afraid to do so.

Damon found he could hardly stand to look at the boy. He felt like he was going to vomit. He realized that they all could look like that if the floor had come down all the way and crushed them. A shudder ran through him and he felt shaky again.

"He's breathing," Alan said nervously.

They looked around at the devastation. Trees were down. Parts of the barn were gone. There was no farmhouse. Young Al was wandering around screaming for his parents and his little brother. There were also several dead cows in the nearby field, although there were a group of cows standing in a bunch against a damaged fence. A draft horse grazed near the group of boys, a bleeding wound on its shoulder.

Then the boys heard the sound of adult voices. Half a dozen men and two women came from the road to see what damage was done and to try to help. The boys were very relieved to see them.)

_I tell you, Monty, it was awful. The sound of it was unbelievable. We were down in the lower lever, but the floor above us came down partway and we were trapped. Only one of us was hurt, Eddie, because he got hit on the head. Albert was scared and crying because he didn't know what happened to his house and family. _

_ We dug ourselves out from where we were. The farm was destroyed. Albert's parents were hurt, but they were alive. They got rescued from their cellar. Their little boy was all right too._

_ I was afraid for my family. I ran home to let my folks know I was all right. Mama hugged me tight. She had tears in her eyes. Stefan looked worried, but confused. Father asked me what I had seen. I told him as best I could. It turned out that the twister missed our place and all the ones close by, like the Gilberts' house and the big Lockwood place._

_ I have to tell you that Eddie Rogers passed on. His head was hurt really bad and he never woke up. He died a little after we pulled him from the barn, just after some adults arrived to see if we were all right. I'm sorry he died, but I'm glad it wasn't while we were still trapped in the barn. It would have been awful to know one of us was dead in there. I try not to remember how he looked when we pulled him from the barn. He was so bloody. Even now it makes me feel sick to my stomach._

_ Some other people were hurt and two grown-ups got killed, but that was all. I hope I don't get caught in another twister for the rest of my life._

_ August 22, 1852 Boy, it was hot today! I rode my pony up until noon time. I sort of felt sorry for the men and women slaves that were loading hay on the wagons in the fields. They had to be sweating rivers. Two of the little fellas were hauling water to them. I surely am glad I am not a slave._

_ September 8, 1852 I have mixed feelings about being back in school again, Monty. Just like you said you do. The weather here has been hot and even with a breeze coming in the open windows, the class room is hot. All the girls are using their fans most of the time. Even our teacher. It's hard to concentrate sometimes._

_ It's good to see some of the kids I don't see much of in the summer, especially the ones that live out north of town. _

_ You said in your letter that your mother is going to have another baby next year. Do you think it is because one of the twins died that she wants another one? I told my mother about your mother. I asked her if she ever thinks about having another baby. She said yes she does. She says she would love to have another one, maybe a girl, but the doctor told her after Stefan was born that she shouldn't try it. _

_I'm not sure why, but I do know Mama isn't as strong as she was before Stefan came. She used to have lots of energy and she would ride her horse more. Now she reads and plays the piano and spends time in her flower garden. She does some sewing on a small tapestry. It's pretty. She goes to visit other ladies or they come here._

_ There was a dance in town and we all went, even Stefan. Mama looked so pretty in her dress. She danced with Father, but mostly she sat with a bunch of other ladies. They talked and laughed._

_ I danced with Martha Lacey twice. She is fun. I asked her if she would like some fruit punch and she said yes, so I got her some and we went out on the big porch. Other people were there, but we found a place to sit and sip our drinks. Martha leaned close and said thank you. _

_Monty, she even gave me a kiss on my cheek. I think if we were alone, she would have kissed my mouth. I surely would have kissed her back. I settled for just grinning at her and taking hold of her hand. I have to admit I got a bit of reaction down in my pants. I hoped it would go away before I had to stand up. I let go of Martha's hand because that was not helping me. So we just sat and sipped our drinks for a few minutes. It was nice. I finally felt free to stand up and we went back inside to the dance floor. Then Alan came along and asked her to dance and she said yes. I wonder if she kisses him too._

_September 19, 1852 Mrs. Lacey paid Mama a visit today and Martha came with her. We were in the big parlor where the piano is and Martha asked me if I could play it. I said I could and she talked me into playing a couple of songs. She loved it. Now I want to learn to play more songs and do it better. _

_While I was sitting on the piano bench with her, Stefan came along and started playing the high notes. I picked him up and put him on my lap. I had shown him how to play a simple song and he remembered. Martha praised him and said he was so cute. He's cute, all right, as long as he isn't getting into my things._

A/N Hope you liked this chapter. Comments welcome.


	18. Chapter 18

_ Chapter_ 18

A/N Here's the next chapter. I know it's not very exciting, but I hope you like it. It's just the life of a kid a hundred and sixty years ago. Thank you to you readers and commenters.

_ November 22, 1852 Hi, Monty. I was glad to get your letter. So, you like the girl Adrienne and she let you hug her and kiss her. I've been doing that with Martha. She really likes me and why shouldn't she? I'm a loveable fellow, aren't I? Of course, we have to do that stuff at her house. Her mother won't let her go anywhere alone with me now that she sees that I am sort of courting her. I'm not really courting her, of course. I'm too young. And besides, I like the looks of several other girls._

_ Today was Stefan's fifth birthday. Mama had a little celebration for him and a few other children his age and thereabouts came over for cake and cookies. They are a noisy bunch. The ones living closest to our house are Billy Gilbert and Barbara Ann Ross. I guess they will be starting school together next year. I find it hard to believe my baby brother will be in school._

_ December 26, 1852 We had a nice Christmas this year. I got a really nice book from Gramma Remington. She always sends me a book of some kind. I like the ones with illustrations best, but some books with no pictures are still good stories. She sent a nice book with drawings to Stefan this year. He's old enough now not to rip pages from books or to mess them up with his pencil. _

_ January 13, 1853 I tell you, Monty, that boy Brian at school makes me so mad. I got into a fight with him over some remark he made. He's a little bigger than me, but you know what? He found out size isn't everything. I whupped up on him pretty good. Of course I got sent to the principal's office and I got paddled on my behind. I don't care. Brian got paddled too._

_ February 22, 1853 Alan and I snuck away from school after lunch. I didn't feel very good and I was going to ask to go home, but Alan talked me into going to his place. We didn't go into his house because his mother would ask why we weren't in school. Instead we went to the big woodshed. Like our house, they have a lot of fireplaces, not to mention the cook's fireplace, so they have a lot of wood stored. Anyway, Alan thought I would feel better if I smoked one of the pipes he has stashed away there. He had tobacco and Lucifer sticks and he showed me how to get the pipe ready. My father smokes a pipe a lot, but I don't really pay attention to how he pust the tobacco in and gets it lit. I like the smell of pipe tobacco. _

_But today was not a good day to try a pipe. I was already not feeling good and after a minute of sucking in smoke from that pipe, I was really sick. I threw up in the woodshed. And I was so dizzy I fell down. Alan got worried and asked me if he should get his mother. I said no. So I lay there on the ground for quite a while. I was cold and started shivering. The dizziness got better, but I still felt sick and I had a stomach ache. I finally got home because Alan had his stableman hook up a buggy and Alan drove me home._

_I suppose my mother could smell the pipe smoke on me. I told her that I had been sick at school and Alan brought me home, but I don't know if she believed me. I think she figured I was sick from smoking. I was glad Father wasn't home. He might have whipped me. Anyway, I ended up spending the rest of the day in bed. I am writing to you now that I feel better this evening._

_February 23, 1853 I tell you, Monty, sometimes I can't get away with anything. I went to Alan's house after school and when I got home I found Father waiting for me. He had been in town and he had talked to Mr. Moss, the school principal. I guess Mr. Moss gave him an earful about me fighting with Brian back in January and then skipping school yesterday afternoon._

_As I have told you before, Father does not usually whip me if Mama is home. Well, she was out visiting this afternoon, so I was at my father's mercy. He took me in the library and questioned me. I mean he yelled at me. I told him I got sick and left school without telling my teacher and Alan went with me. I couldn't lie because he already knew some of the truth. I didn't mention the pipe smoking._

_Anyway, he told me to lower my trousers and the flap of my long johns. I told him I really was sick yesterday and I didn't deserve a whipping. I could see he was getting angrier because I wasn't doing what he said. I don't know why I argued, but I did. I don't like being whipped. Who does?_

_He reached out and grabbed my arm. He ripped the back of my shirt open and tried to rip the back of my long johns, but it wouldn't rip. He reached for that damnable riding crop and started laying it onto my back. I tried to pull free of him, but he has a strong grip. I now have quite a bruise on my arm besides nasty whip marks on my back. He really laid into me with that crop until I was crying like a little kid._

_He finally let me go and I ran up to my room. I thought Stefan wasn't home, but he was. He was up in his room and Sophie wouldn't let him come downstairs. He did see me run into my room with a bloody back. He was crying because I was. I slammed the door to my room so he wouldn't come in. I ended up sitting on the floor because I didn't want to get blood on my bed._

_Sophie finally came in with the salve that helps. She took my torn shirt off and helped me take off the top part of my long johns. I kept my pants on while she washed my back and put the salve on. She didn't say anything against Father, of course, but I could tell she was angry at him and sad for me. Father has whipped my behind, but never my back. He treated me like a slave with that whipping. I hate him._

_When I was alone again, I changed my pants. Sophie came and took away the bloody and torn things. She will mend them as best she can. She's good at that._

_So, Monty, I didn't get any supper. Mama came to see me and I know she was upset. I heard her arguing with Father. I like that she takes my side against him, but I don't like that she gets upset and argues with him._

_Stefan wanted to know why I got whipped and I told him. He didn't think that I deserved a whipping. I know my punishment upsets him. Very seriously he told me that I needed to be careful not to make our father mad at me so I wouldn't get whipped. I don't do it on purpose, but I guess I am just not a good boy all the time. I admit I do get into mischief._

_I know I won't get any sleep tonight. My back hurts too much and I'm angry with Father. I should run away, but I don't guess I will._

_March 12, 1853 My mother announced today at supper that she is expecting a new baby! I couldn't believe it, Monty. I know my mother told she once that she would like a new baby, but the doctor said she should not. Something wasn't right after Stefan was born. I could see that Father was surprised and then he looked concerned and then happy when he saw that Mother was happy._

_ I can tell you, Monty, I felt anger toward Father. He knows what the doctor said. I know how babies are made and I know what Father did. He and my mother do not sleep in the same bedroom, but I think he goes into her room now and then. I guess he did a bit ago. He should know better than to get her with child. He has Sooner to fool around with when he wants to, so he should leave my mother alone!_

_ March 13, 1853 Mrs. Bailey came by to chat with Mama today and I overheard Mama tell the woman that she was in her fourth month. She knew for four months and she didn't tell us? But then I overheard why. I guess Mama has had a couple of miscarriages in the past, between when I was born and when Stefan was. So she wanted to wait to tell the news until she was past the time she had lost the other two babies. I know she would like to have a little girl this time. Having a sister would be different._

_ April 7, 1853 I tell you, Monty, my little brother has a temper. Most of the time he is a nice little kid, very agreeable. He does what he's supposed to do, what he's told to do. But once in a while he loses his temper. When he was little he had a few temper tantrums. He'd get frustrated and start to cry and lie on the ground and kick his feet. His face would get so red. _

_I'm sure you have seen little kids do that. I certainly have. Some parents spank the child for doing that and others ignore him until he's spent his anger. Mama sort of ignored Stefan when he did that, although once I know she was really embarrassed when he did that in the mercantile store. Anyway, he outgrew that. _

_But today I was playing with him and I teased him too much. I should have seen it coming because I saw it before. His face got really red and his eyes sort of went from green to black and he attacked me! I mean he came at me with fists and kicking. He was crying and nearly foaming at the mouth. Well, not really. I didn't want to hurt him, so I tried to avoid being hit and kicked by getting out of the way. He didn't care that he was a lot smaller than me._

_I was relieved when the fit passed real quickly. All of a sudden he was standing there looking at me and looking a little confused, like he wasn't sure what had just happened. I gave him a hug and told him I was sorry for teasing him so much and making him cry. He just nodded. I'll have to remember not to go too far with the teasing. Or I'll have to run faster than him to keep him from kicking me. I've got bruises on my legs and he almost got me in the crotch._

_My mother is finally looking like she is carrying a baby. Her health seems to be all right, but she rests more than before. When I asked her about that, she just said she wants to be careful that she doesn't do anything to jar the baby loose. It must be hard for a mother to want her baby and to lose it before its time. I know it happens. One of the ladies that lives in town recently lost a baby. It was born early and it lived for a day. I hope that doesn't happen to our new baby._

A/N That's it for now. Please comment on it. Do you like it or is it boring?


	19. Chapter 19

_Chapter 19_

A/N Thanks again to all of you reading this story and to those who commented on it. I appreciate that.

_ May 28, 1853 My dear friend Monty, I was so glad to get your letter. You are still alive! I was really worried because we all know there has been a terrible outbreak of yellow fever in New Orleans this month. Weeks have gone by with no word from you. I am terribly sorry that your other little brother and the new baby have died. You and your parents must be very sad. At least your parents still have you._

_June 8, 1853 Well, Monty, I had my thirteenth birthday today. My father got me a new horse. You know I have been riding my big pony Lightning. I like Lightning a lot, but I am getting taller and can handle a bigger horse. The new one is a chestnut gelding named Joe. I don't like that name. Father said I can call him whatever I want. I think I will call him Joker. That shouldn't confuse him if he's used to Joe. He isn't real tall, being fifteen hands. I like his size and I think he will be a good jumper._

_Father says he wants to give Lightning to Stefan. I think Stefan is too small. He is suited for the small pony and likes to tear around on it. I guess tear around isn't the right words because the pony doesn't have that much energy. Stefan has to work to get the pony to gallop. However, I think Lightning is too energetic. Stefan won't have to work to get him to go. He'll have to work to control his speed._

_June 9, 1853 Alan came over to ride with me. His horse is a middle-sized, part- Thoroughbred. Joker isn't a Thoroughbred, but he has a nice conformation. Alan and I set up some jumps in the horse pasture and we put the horses to them. Joker has had experience with jumping, I can tell. He sailed right over the jumps. He'll be good for the hunting season when it comes back this fall._

_I guess my mother will not be riding in any more foxhunts. The bigger she gets with the baby, the more tired she is. She spends more time resting. I'll be glad when she has the baby and I can stop worrying about the doctor's warning._

_June 20, 1853 I tell you, Monty, Stefan is really doing well on Lightning. He is so determined. Stubborn is more like it. Father has watched him groom the pony and saddle him. It's a reach for the boy, but he can do it. The only thing Father and Silas check is if the saddle girth is tight enough. Stefan just barely has the strength to get it tight enough. At least Lightning isn't one to hold his breath during the tightening and then let his breath out. Lightning does try to nip him and he's pinched Stefan real good a couple of times._

_When it comes to riding, Stefan is like a bur stuck to the saddle. He's a good little rider. He has a good sense of balance. Father watches him ride, getting after him about how he sits, how he posts, how he holds the reins just like he did with me. My little brother looks like the perfect little horseman. So far he hasn't broken any bones the couple of times he's come off._

_July 4, 1853 We had a nice Fourth of July celebration today with a small carnival in town, a nice picnic supper and fireworks after it got dark. For the first time Stefan didn't seem to mind the noise. I stood with Martha, Monty. I held her hand and shared an ice cream with her. I really like her._

_Mama came with us in the wagon to town, but by the time we went home she was very tired. I know she liked visiting with some of the other women at the celebration. She got a lot of attention because of her condition. I don't really think she should have gone to town or stayed so long. Father should have taken her home. Stefan and I could have walked home after the fireworks._

_July 5, 1853 I tell you, Monty. I am worried about my Mama. The trip to town has worn her out. She has been in bed all day. Sophie has been with her and I heard Sophie say Mama had really swollen ankles. I went in to see her and she said for me not to worry. She hugged me and gave me a kiss like she does a lot. She let me put my hand on her belly and I could feel the baby moving. She said Mrs. Bailey says it will be a boy. If so, I guess Mama will not get her little girl._

_July 8, 1853 Father went to Charlottesville to catch the train to Richmond. He is going to Philadelphia to buy a race horse. Why does he need a race horse, Monty? Why is he going so far from home when he should be here with Mama? _

_Actually, I wish I could have gone with him. It would have been a wonderful adventure. Even if I didn't go to Philadelphia, Father could have left me in Richmond so I could meet some of the cousins living there. Gramma and Grampa Remington have several children Mama's age, her brothers and sisters. And they have children, my cousins. I have never met them._

_I wonder why grownups are still called children. Mama says her brothers and sisters, who are really grown up like her, are still Gramma's children. I'd like to think the day will come when I will be an adult and not a child. Surely my parents will think of me as a grown person and not their child._

_Stefan asked me why Mama spends so much time in bed these days. I just told him that she had the baby in her stomach and carrying it around was wearing her out. He asked why she had to carry it like that instead of putting it in a basket like Mrs. O'Toole is doing with her baby. I didn't try to explain to him why._

_July 20, 1853 Father is back with the new horse. It is a chestnut colt with the name Flash Flame. It came from England on a ship. It's a young horse that Father wants trained to race. The horse came with a free black man named Caleb Washington who is a trainer and a jockey. I tell you, Monty, it's a little strange to have a freeman on the farm. All the other coloreds are slaves._

_Caleb must feel nervous being here. I'm not sure how to treat him. I asked Mama and she said to treat him with respect like any other human being, because he is an adult and an employee like Mr. Stubb, our overseer. So, he follows Father's orders as an employee instead of as a slave. I guess the real difference is that Father pays him a wage and if Caleb doesn't like it here, he can just up and leave. He has papers that show he is free and he can read them._

_August 15, 1853 Monty, you would not believe what happened this morning! I have to tell you, but I can't go into all the detail that I would like to in case your mama reads these letters. I don't know if you remember the Crawford family. They live half way to Charlottesville and Mr. Crawford does roofs. We have a leak in our kitchen roof which has been kind of bad because of all the rain we have had lately. So Mr. Crawford was here. He brought his daughter Celia with him. She's fifteen years old and looking sort of womanly these days._

_She and I got to talking and she was flirting with me. It was fun but I didn't think it would amount to anything. I surely was wrong about that. She is not shy, I tell you Monty. She leaned close like she was going to whisper something, but she kissed me on the lips and it wasn't a quick kiss either. She got her tongue into my mouth! That took me by surprise. Then she asked did I want to go out to the barn and fool around a little._

_I was shocked, but I said we could do that. I wanted to know what she had planned and just what she would do or let me do. How could I turn down an opportunity like that? She asked did I ever do "it" before. I figured I knew what she meant. I didn't want to admit that I never did it, so I told her I had._

_We went to the horse barn and I looked around. I wasn't about to do some fooling around if Silas or Caleb were there. We didn't see or hear anyone. I wanted to check out the tack room, but Celia wouldn't let me. She thought I was just trying to avoid what she wanted to do. Anyway, we went up to the hay loft. I admit I was nervous, Monty. I didn't want her to know I had lied. I hoped I would be able to do it judging by what I had learned by listening to the older boys._

_Well, I won't go into details here, but I'll tell you she hauled up her dress and petticoats and she had nothing on underneath. I just stared and I got plenty excited, I tell you. She took over and had my pants half off in no time. Well, the fact that I was so flustered and I wasn't sure what to do first pretty much told her I had lied. She didn't make fun of me though. So, what it boils down to is that I did "it" with her. It was faster than if I was playing with myself, but she didn't seem to care. So now I won't be lying if I say "Sure, I've done it." _

_The only thing really embarrassing about it all was that Caleb was in the tack room the whole time. I saw him as we were leaving the barn. He didn't say anything, but I really did worry that he would tell my father. I worried that I'd get a whipping. But that didn't take away all the good feeling I was enjoying._

_August 16, 1853 I sure got a scare today, Monty. But let me tell you first that the horse trainer Caleb didn't say anything to my father. That was a relief. Caleb is a nice man. He's soft-spoken and he surely knows horses._

_ Anyway, the scary part was that Stefan went riding out on Lightning just before I went to the barn. While I was getting ready to saddle my horse, Lightning came running back to the barn without Stefan. There was mud on the pony's side and I could tell he had fallen. Caleb said Stefan had said he would ride on the path beside the creek. Not only was I scared that Stefan might be hurt, I was scared he might have fallen in the creek which was running high after the rain. _

_ I jumped on Lightning and raced down to the creek. Caleb came after me on the race horse. I finally found the place where Lightning had fallen and I found Stefan hanging onto some bushes almost in the water. The bank was steep there and slippery. Caleb had brought a rope which he tied around me so I could get down the bank to my brother and then he pulled us up. Stefan was a mess, but he wasn't hurt bad. His left arm was hurt, but it wasn't broken. He was all right to ride Lightning back to the house with me leading the pony. He's a brave little boy. Dr. Bailey was at the house seeing to Mama _

_and he fixed Stefan's arm with a board and bandage. It all is scary to me to think I could have lost my brother today._

_ August 19, 1853 My Gramma Remington arrived today from Richmond. She came on the stage from Charlottesville and Father took a buggy to town to bring her home. She is going to stay until after Mama has the baby and probably a while after that. I can tell Mama is really happy to have her here. I can also tell that Father isn't too happy about it. _

_Gramma is sort of bossy and she has ideas about how things should be done. They don't always agree with Father's ideas. I'm glad she's here. I remember that she stayed with us way back when Stefan was born. I suppose she did the same when I was born._

_A/N That's it for this chapter. Feel free to comment or to make suggestions._


	20. Chapter 20

_Chapter 20_

A/N Warning: A death occurs.

_August 19, 1853 Mama went into labor this morning, Monty. That's what they call it when a woman's time comes and her womb gets ready to squeeze the baby out. I don't really like to think about that. When I first heard Mama cry out in pain I thought she had hurt herself and I rushed to her room. She told me she was all right and what was going on. _

_Then Father came along and said he was going to send me and Stefan over to stay at the Gilberts' house. I didn't want to go. I knew Mama was sick and I feared she would die and I wouldn't be near her. But Father insisted that he wanted Stefan out of the house until after the birth and I was to go too. I still resent Father for putting Mama in this position of being sick and having a baby._

_Sophie asked me what I wanted to take with me for a couple of days besides the clothes she put in a valise for me. I chose one of my books and papers to write this page of my letter to you._

_Silas drove Stefan and me over to the Gilberts' house. I wish it was the Lockwood place so I could be with Alan, but Father had already made an agreement with Mr. Gilbert. Stefan and I are sharing the room that is really Roland's. He is sleeping on a cot in Lindsey's room and he doesn't like it. He didn't want to give up his room so he is not in a good mood. I don't like Roland anyway. The rest of the family is friendly. Lindsey is really a nice fellow. If I had an older brother, I would want him to be like him._

_Mrs. Gilbert went over to our house in the afternoon to see how Mama was doing and keep her company. She came back after a while for supper. She said the baby had not come yet. The doctor was at the house and so was the midwife who helps with a lot of births. I overheard Mrs. Gilbert tell Mr. Gilbert that Mama looked weak and exhausted. I am so worried._

_August 20, 1853 Mrs. Gilbert went over to the house again and was gone for about three hours. I wanted so badly to go home and see how Mama was, but Mr. Gilbert warned me not to go. Stefan was confused about the whole thing. He likes to be with Amy and Billy, but he doesn't understand why we can't go home._

_When Mrs. Gilbert returned, she said Mama had had the baby. It is a boy as Mrs. Bailey predicted. I know Mama and Father had already picked out a name. A boy would be called Pietro. So I have a baby brother by that name._

_I asked if I could go home now and Mrs. Gilbert said Father was sending Silas to take me and Stefan home after lunch. I asked her if Mama was all right. She said Mama was very tired and I was not to weary her or let Stefan bother her. In a little while Silas came and took us home. I had told Stefan that Mama wasn't carrying the baby in her stomach any more. It was out of there and in a basket now._

_I tell you, Monty, I was shocked when I saw Mama. She was so pale and she almost looked dead. It scared me. But she opened her eyes and smiled at me and Stefan. I don't think Stefan realized how ill she was. He wanted to get on the bed with Mama, but I held onto him and told him not to. _

_As for the baby, it was easy to tell where he was because he was in his basket and yelling his lungs out. I walked around Mama's bed to look at him and Stefan came with me. He was so little and so red-faced. And so loud for such a tiny thing. I don't think I remember Stefan being that small and I know he didn't cry much. Maybe I just don't remember._

_I really have mixed feeling about Pietro, Monty. The resentment I feel toward Father for making the baby I also feel for the baby. I guess that isn't fair, but it's how I feel. Together, the two of them have made Mama very ill._

_Gramma was there and she asked me if I wanted to hold the baby just for a moment. I didn't really, but she seemed like she wanted me to do it, so I nodded. She picked him up in his swaddling wrap and put him carefully in my arms. He wasn't heavy, but he was warm and wiggly. And he didn't stop screaming. I could look into his toothless mouth and I wondered when he would get his first tooth. I couldn't remember when Stefan got his._

_Stefan was looking at him, but didn't seem to want to touch him. Then Mama held out her hands for him and took the baby and put him to her chest to feed him. He latched on and the room was finally quiet. _

"_What's he doing? Is he biting Mama?" Stefan asked. _

_He had never seen a baby getting its milk. I told him he was getting milk from Mama's bosom. I told him he did that when he was little. Sort of like the calf sucking on the cow's udder. Mama gave a little laugh when I said that. At least she still has her sense of humor. In fact, I noticed she looked real content with the baby feeding. If she was a cow, she would have licked her little newborn, but of course she didn't. Disgusting thought! _

_It was obvious she loved the tiny fellow. While I had been jealous when Stefan was born, I didn't feel that this time. I don't know what Stefan feels. He hasn't said anything. I think he's a little confused about it all. I know he's going to find out that he isn't as much the center of attention like he has been. I wonder how he will handle that._

_August 23, 1853 I tell you, Monty, I don't think any of us got any sleep the last few nights. That baby must cry most of the night, off and on. Why can't he sleep? I think the only time he is quiet is when he is eating. Mama looked exhausted when I visited her for a few minutes this morning. Gramma too. Sophie was in there changing the baby. If it isn't pissing, it's pooping. The usual baby stuff._

_I noticed that Father is getting short tempered. He spends a lot of time in the library drinking. I think it is the baby's crying. I heard him say several times "Can't he ever go to sleep and shut his damned mouth?"_

_I couldn't wait to get out of the house most of the time, Monty. I go to the Lockwood house and spend time with Alan. He has two younger brothers so he remembers how noisy a baby can be. I told him I was worried about my Mama because she wasn't well before she went through birthing the baby._

_Sophie told me the baby has colic. He has pain in his stomach a lot. I guess if I was a baby and had a stomachache all the time I would cry too. I have taken to calling him Peter, which is the English name for Pietro. Stefan says he likes the name too. I even heard Gramma try out the name. I think she liked it._

_I worry about Mama. She does not look better. I don't think she is getting sleep because the baby is in her room. Her room smells funny and I don't know if it is the baby or something wrong with Mama. _

_August 26, 1853 Stefan is wanting to see Mama more and more and he is fascinated by the baby. This afternoon he asked me if the baby would be with us forever and I told him yes. He would grow up in the house just like I did and Stefan did. He asked if Mama and Father still loved him now that they had a new child to love. I reassured him that they did. I tell you, Monty, I have a feeling Father loves Stefan more than the new baby or me. I can see little Peter really annoys him. Will he ever love the baby? Did he ever really love me?_

_I asked Sophie if Mama will be all right, if she is recovering from the birth all right. Tears came to Sophie's eyes. She said she is worried. And I know the doctor comes every day to look at Mama. And Gramma hardly leaves Mama's room. I tell you, Monty, this does not sound good to me. I know women sometimes die after they have their baby. Since Mama was sick before the birth, I fear she doesn't have the strength she needs to get well._

_August 28, 1853 I tell you, Monty, I am scared. I think my Mama is really going to die. It makes me sick to think of it. Father found a wet nurse to feed Peter. Mama can't do it anymore. She is very week and I know the odd smell in her room is coming from her, not the baby. In fact, the baby is in the other guest room because no one wanted to put him in with me or Stefan._

_ August 29, 1853 Father wouldn't let me or Stefan into Mama's room except for a few minutes this morning. Mama looks awful. She is so sick and weak and pale. She whispered to me to take care of my brothers, to look after them. I admit I started to cry. She put her arm around my shoulders and kissed me. I begged her to get better. She said she would try, but I think she can't. I can tell she is in pain. I have stood outside her closed door and I have heard her moan and cry out. She told me she loved me and I said I loved her too._

_ Father wouldn't let us in to see her this evening. He said she is sleeping. Neither he nor I have told Stefan that she is dying. I don't know how to tell him. Maybe Father doesn't either._

_August 30, 1853 Monty, my mother died today. I didn't get in to see her this morning, but I know when she died. The doctor was here and then he left. I could hear Gramma and Sophie crying in Mama's room. I could even hear Father crying in his room. I have never heard my father cry. I went to my own room and lay on my bed and cried. Stefan came in, looking very bewildered. I motioned him up on my bed and put my arms around him. I hugged him close and he started sobbing because I was._

_ "Mama has gone away, Stefan," I said. "Mama has gone to heaven."_

A/N It's sad. Sorry, but it had to happen.


	21. Chapter 21

_Chapter 21_

_ September 3, 1853 Grampa Remington and two of Mama's brothers and her sister came from Richmond for the funeral. They are my uncles and aunt. I've never met them before. They seem nice. They seem more interested in me than in Stefan. I like that._

_I was surprised to see Uncle Luigi, one of Father's brothers, come from Savannah. His brother Edoardo, my Uncle Ed, didn't come. Maybe it is just my imagination, but Uncle Luigi seemed to like Stefan more than me. Isn't that odd?_

_ I think Father is relieved that his brother came for Mama's funeral. One time I asked Mama about my father's brothers and my Salvatore cousins and why we never hear from them and why they never came to visit. Mama said they were upset because she and Father didn't get married in the Catholic church. She said people are sometimes very strict about their religious beliefs and what their church thinks they should do. When Mama and Father decided to marry in her church and to not raise Stefan and me as Catholics, his church disowned him. His family sort of disowned him too. I don't know how he feels about that, but I bet he doesn't like it. I would be sad if my family did that to me._

_ For now I am back sleeping in Stefan's room. Peter and the wet nurse are in the play room. This frees up a couple more rooms for our guests. None of the bedrooms is big. I can tell you that our house feels really crowded._

_ September 4, 1853 My mother's funeral was today. I tell you, Monty, it was sad but it was good to see so many people come and pay their respects. Mama was a loved person around town. I tried to explain to Stefan what was going on, the meaning of the funeral. He's confused because everyone has told him Mama has gone to heaven and yet her body is here in the coffin. It's hard for a boy of five to understand._

_One thing that surprised me is the tomb. I guess it is called a crypt or mausoleum. Sometime in the past Father had a marble crypt built with the name Salvatore above the door. I don't know if he did it because he thought Mama might die during the time she carried Peter or if he did it before that in case he died before her. Anyway, Monty, there it was in a part of the cemetery I have rarely been to. If I noticed it, I never saw the name Salvatore on it. There are places for four burials and Mama is now in one of them. Are the other three for Father, Stefan and me? I guess he didn't plan on Peter._

_Now that Mama has passed, I feel like I have only Stefan. Father doesn't like me. I surely don't feel any warm feeling for Peter. I know he's just an innocent babe, but he caused my mother to die. She wouldn't have died if she had not had to carry him all these months and then struggle to give birth to him. And, I tell you, Monty, I surely blame Father for getting her with the child in the first place. He's as guilty of causing Mama's death as Peter is. Or more so._

_ September 5, 1853 Well, Monty, school has started. In a way, I'm glad to be back to school and seeing some of my friends. I'm glad to be away from that baby. I'm glad to be away from Mama's empty room. It's not really empty. The bed is made fresh, the room is clean and aired, but all Mama's things are there as if she is not gone forever. _

_I also had to take Stefan to school for the first time. I can't believe it, but he looked like he was going to cry when I left him at his classroom. I told him there was nothing to be afraid of and that I was at the same school, just in another room. I wasn't sure if he would start school this year or next. He'll be six in November so I guess Father decided he should start school now. I think Father just wanted to get him out of the house._

_Actually it is good that he is starting this year because Billy Gilbert is too. That boy is already six. Being in school will take Stefan's mind off the fact that Mama is gone, at least until we go home. He still doesn't quite understand what happened. He asked me this morning if there was any chance Mama would come home._

_Uncle Luigi left to return to Savannah today. He told me and Stefan at breakfast that he was going. He isn't a really friendly man although he is with Father. That isn't surprising, since they are brothers. I would think brothers would always be close, but I know boys who don't like their brothers, especially older brothers. I love Stefan and I hope he will always love me._

_I found out at supper tonight that Gramma and Grampa are going to take Peter and the wet nurse to Richmond. Gramma got into an argument with Father about the baby. I think everyone in the house knows Father dislikes the child. He says he is angry that Peter cries so much and reminds him that Mama is dead. _

_Gramma accused Father of feeling guilty about getting Mama pregnant. I know that is the proper word for being with child. And she said he hates the baby because it reminds Father that he is to blame. I think she is right. Father must feel awfully guilty because he has been drinking himself half to death each day. Joshua has to put him to bed. I tell you, Monty, my family is a mess._

_Peter is going to live with one of my Remington uncles who is here. His name is Robert. His wife's name is Donna. She didn't come to the funeral because she stayed home with their three young children. They must love children a lot if they are willing to add my screaming baby brother to their family. I tell you, Monty, I think Aunt Donna is going to be surprised when she finds out she has a newborn on her hands. Of course the wet nurse Molly will do most of the baby care._

_ By the way, Monty, Molly is one of the Lockwoods' slaves. She had a baby two days before Mama had Peter, but it only lived a few days. She has plenty of milk which is just as good for a white child as a colored one. Father is leasing her from the Lockwoods. Grampa says he is going to talk to Mr. Lockwood and he may buy Molly. I don't know what Molly thinks of this. I don't know if she has a man at the Lockwoods' place. Someone was her baby's father. Maybe Sophie knows. I'll have to ask her._

_September 6, 1853 Stefan did better about going to school today. He likes that Billy and I are there. Billy's sister Amy should be in school but I guess she can't learn. I don't know why. She doesn't seem dim-witted at home._

_It is amazing how quiet the house is, Monty. They are all gone. Sophie, Joshua and Sooner have put the bedrooms back to normal, so I have my room back. After listening to Peter and the grownups for the last few days, I realize Stefan really is a quiet boy. Actually, I think school uses up a lot of his energy so that he is quieter when we get home._

_September 21, 1853 Are ladies in your area trying to convince people to let them vote, Monty? They sure are here in Virginia. I don't know why they would bother with that. Women have enough to concern themselves caring for their house and children. Father says women don't follow politics and they don't know what the issues are. He says they would just vote emotionally and mess everything up. If Mama was still alive, I wonder how she would feel about that._

_Do you have the new telegraph in New Orleans? I think it is amazing that messages can somehow be sent over a simple wire to a place miles away. In school they showed us the code of dots and dashes that represent letters. I wonder how long it takes to learn the code and figure out the clicks the telegraph thing makes. Just think, some day all towns may be connected by a wire!_

_November 22, 1853. We had our Thanksgiving dinner today. The Gilberts came over so the meal was actually nice. But today was Stefan's sixth birthday. It wasn't a happy day because Mama isn't here. Mama's empty chair opposite Father is just so obvious. Stefan cried and when Mrs. Gilbert went to hug him, he ran up to his room. Father told me to go get him because the meal was not over and he had not been excused. I went upstairs and hugged him a little and told him Mama would want him to have a good meal and be thankful for the good harvest and the friends around the table. So he went back down with me._

_November 23, 1853 Monty, I want to wish you a happy birthday. I know you will be fourteen on December 1. I hope you get this letter by then so you will know I am thinking of you._

_December 5, 1854 Guess who I saw today? Celia Crawford. Her father is working on the roof of a house in town. Monty, she is looking like she is with child! It isn't very obvious, but if a person really looks, her skirt doesn't hide the fact that her belly is bulging a little. I guess I looked because I have sort of worried about what she and I did. _

_I know there are things a fellow can do to keep a baby from happening and I know we didn't do any of them. She has not said anything to me, but what if I am the father? How many fellows has she done "it" with? I tell you, Monty, it has me a little scared. I am way too young to be a father. I'm not even fourteen yet. Maybe I really don't have any good seed yet. I am definitely not going to ask her if she thinks it was me._

_December13, 1853 Today was a beautiful day. Warm for a winter day. After school I was out by the barn thinking of riding Joker. The Thoroughbred colt Flash Flame was in his paddock running around. Caleb says his race training is coming along nicely. Father raced the colt against one of Mr. Lockwood's race horses and our colt won. Father was just beaming with glee._

_Anyway, Monty, that horse was feeling really good, kicking up his heels. What a beautiful horse! Then he laid down and rolled in the dirt. Horses surely love to do that, but then they are such a dirty mess, especially if the ground is wet._

_Billy came over to my house after he changed from his school clothes and he went riding with me. We had a good time. I wish you were still living here to ride with us. I know I have said that a bunch of times._

_December 14, 1853 A sad thing happened today. The colt Flash Flame got sick with colic. He was not looking well this morning. I heard Caleb reporting to Father before Stefan and I went to school. By the time we got home from school, the horse was dead. He had become worse all day and Father told me it was probably a twisted gut because the horse didn't respond to any treatment. In the end the animal was in terrible pain and was down on the ground and thrashing around. Father shot him to end his suffering. The horse is buried in the far end of the big pasture._

_We didn't tell Stefan what happened except that the horse got sick suddenly and died. Father had no further use for Caleb. He paid him the wages he had earned and recommended him as a horse trainer to another man. So Caleb is no longer with us. He was an interesting man because he was not a slave. He could read and write and he had traveled a bit. He told me once that he didn't believe slavery was right, but mostly he didn't want to talk about it because of the position he was in on this farm. He always was polite and treated me and Stefan and Father with respect. And he surely was good with horses._

_Father is not in a good mood this evening. He is upset that the expensive horse died. But at least he had had the pleasure of seeing the colt beat one of Mr. Lockwood's good horses. He didn't say much about the horse dying and I'm glad. I didn't want Stefan to be really upset about it._

_Sophie spends extra time with Stefan in the evenings. She puts him to bed and has him say a little prayer that Mama in heaven can hear along with Jesus. I gave up saying prayers. My prayers didn't save Mama. I don't think God was listening. Or Jesus. So I am not going to say any more prayers._

_A/N I think the death of his mother was likely the beginning of the end of Damon's belief in religion. But maybe not. What do you all think? Does Damon as a vampire still hold onto some belief?_


	22. Chapter 22

_Chapter 22_

A/N Thank you once again to all of you who have been reading this story from Damon's youth. He didn't keep a journal like Stefan did, but he wrote letters about what was happening in his life. ALERT: There is a death.

_December 30, 1853 I got your letter, Monty. It arrived quickly since I see your last words were written Christmas Day. I'm glad you had a nice Christmas, even without your brothers. I must say ours was not very happy because of Mama being gone. I decorated our tree along with Stefan and told him Mama was looking down to see if we do it right. And we put up some pine and holly. The house smelled nice and we had a good dinner over at the Gilbert house, but it just wasn't the same._

_ January 18, 1854 I got into a fight at school yesterday. It was with George Hatten again. He is almost sixteen and he is really growing taller. I think he thought he could wup up on me. Well, guess what? He can't. I showed him. We both got paddled by the principal and sent home. _

_Father was furious, even though I told him George started the fight. I don't know what Father wants. If I lost the fight he would get after me for not fighting hard enough. If I win, he's angry just because I was fighting. He didn't whip me since my rear end was already sore and I had some other cuts and bruises. And a black eye. I didn't lose any teeth. But I ended up not getting any supper. I surely hate having to go to the guest room and stay there with no books and then get no supper. I'm going to have to hide a book in the guest room so I'll have something to read. I should have thought of it before. It's true Sophie snuck a little food up to me, but it wasn't much._

_I do regret upsetting Stefan. He didn't see the fight, but he saw me right afterward. I'm glad he missed the fight._

_So, I'm writing this tonight because I couldn't last night. At school today, George avoided me. He has two black eyes and plenty of bruises. Most of the boys don't like George so most of them told me I did a good job on him._

_I saw Celia today. She was in town, but not at school. I don't know what school she goes to since she doesn't live close to Mystic Falls. Anyway, she is looking very big with child. She looks like she is ready to pop like a rubber balloon with too much air in it. If she has the baby soon, I will know it isn't mine. I think. She hasn't said anything to me and I am glad._

_January 26, 1854 I heard that Celia had a baby girl. If it is nine months since it was started, then it isn't mine. That is a relief, I tell you, Monty._

_I've been spending some time with Millicent White. I know I told you that before. And also Martha Lacy. They are both nice girls. I have impure thoughts when I am with them because of what I did with Celia, but I don't think I will do "it" with either of them, even if they would let me. Martha is very flirty. Almost scandalous. I have a suspicion she might do it if I asked her. I need to find out more about preventing babies._

_Most of the time I spend with my friends Alan, Howard and Douglas. I surely wish you were here with us, Monty. I tell them when I get a letter from you and you tell me some really interesting things._

_Do you remember that I told you Howard got an appaloosy horse? It got loose and ran away. We had some snow the other day and there were some tracks. The four of us boys followed the tracks as best we could. I don't know where that horse thought it was going but it headed for the hills to the west of here. We knew the horse could jump over some fences. The horses we were riding could jump too and we followed for about four miles. Then the horse got into a pasture where there was a herd of horses. It looked to me like they were mostly mares and two geldings, but there was a fight._

_I tell you, Monty, mares can be really aggressive. They saw this new horse in their midst and they took off after him. They cornered him near a lean-to shed and kicked the poop out of him. It was a shame, but they broke one of his front legs. The farm owner came running when he heard all the fighting and Howard told him it was his run-away horse. The poor animal was trying to get away from the mares and he was hopping along. Howard and I got our horses into the pasture and we were able to drive the other horses off, even though they kicked at us. _

_Howard was in tears when he caught up with his horse and tried to calm him. It was obvious that the animal had a broken cannon bone. There is nothing to be done about that except shoot the animal. The farmer went for his gun and he did the deed. Howard just stood there and cried. I haven't seen him cry in years. I had tears in my eyes too, Monty, for both Howard and the horse. Alan did too._

_Howard told the farmer that he would explain what had happened. It was not the farmer's fault, of course. Howard was sure his father would send help to bury the animal. We all returned to the Fell place, but it was a sad time. After a while, Billy and I left and eventually I went home and told Father what had happened. I don't think Father really cared. I didn't tell Stefan._

_March 15, 1854 I got your letter today. It always excites me to get a letter from you. I guess the only other person I get letters from is my grandmother in Richmond. She tells me that little Peter is doing well although he is small. He isn't the healthiest child, but he has lasted. He's eight months old now. I'm pleased he is surviving, but I feel no brotherly attachment to him. I tell you, Monty, I don't think Father has the least interest in Peter, as if he didn't exist._

_You wrote that your mother is with child again. I know your family must be hopeful that the new babe will live. You have suffered such losses. I can't imagine how I would feel if I lost Stefan._

_Speaking of Stefan, he spends a lot of time with Billy Gilbert. Either they are at the Gilberts' house after school or they are over here. It is nice to have Stefan playing with a friend his own age instead of always trying to tag along with me. Sometimes, Monty, I have both of them wanting to do whatever I am doing with my friends if we are at home. And there is the little girl Barbara Ann. She is a rough and tumble little thing and she does whatever Stefan and Billy do. She is their age._

_June 8, 1854 School is over for the year and it is wonderful to be free. Today I turned fourteen. Every year at this time I catch up with you, so now we are both fourteen. I know you will always be six months older than me, but what difference does that make?_

_June 27, 1854 Dear Monty, I am writing this page to you, but I know I will not mail the letter. Yesterday Father brought me a good-sized package. I thought it was some gift from my grandmother, but I was sent from New Orleans. I wondered what you had sent me._

_When I opened it, there was a letter addressed to me on top of a lot of other letters. I read the first one, of course. It was from your own mother. She said she had sad news. She said you had become very ill and you passed on! I couldn't believe it! How could that be? How could you die, Monty?_

_It's not right. It's not fair. Why didn't I feel you going? I have lost a dear friend and I don't know what to feel or think. You were almost like a brother to me. My whole life you have been around and close to me, even when you moved to New Orleans. I don't think New Orleans is a good place. It took your brothers and now it has taken you. I have tears in my eyes, Monty, so I can hardly see to write this._

_Stefan has come into my room and he is looking up at me. He can see my tears. I want to tell him to leave me alone. In fact, I just told him I felt sad and I wanted him to leave my room, so he did. I need to tell someone. I guess it will probably be Sophie. She is a very caring person._

_I found that the other letters in the box are the ones I have written to you over the years. Your mother thought I might like to have them back. She has asked if I would send her three or four of the letters you wrote to me if I still have them. Of course I have them. I saved every one as I guess you saved mine. I will look through them and pick out a few to send to her. The rest I will keep, Monty, always. Your letters and mine together._

_And this last letter I will keep with the others. It is my goodbye to you. You will always be in my heart. I tell you, Monty, you have been my best friend and I will miss you. Goodbye. Goodbye._

A/N So, this is the end of Penpals. I tried to write what might have happened in Damon's youth. I hope you found it interesting. Comments are appreciated.


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